A letter from March 15th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, YOOOOOO. I bet you forgot you did this huh? Girl, I know. Let me refresh you on what's going on present time. We're currently a Junior in high school, and we have no idea what our GPA is since no one has updated us on it since like .... freshmen year. We honestly have no idea what we want our career to be. We're looking at Psychology, something to do with babies and how their brains and bodies work, and Gynecology (a wild card, I know right). We're kinda all over the place at the moment, when it comes to the future, life in general to be honest. We don't really know where we want to go for college but we're genuinely looking at UT Arlington. Your bestfriends at the moment are Abbey, Michelle, and Jaelun. Some good friends are Valentina, Ash, Arely, Dee, Dazzirae, Sierra, yk the works. I lowkey don't know what to say. I really need to learn how to drive, but I'm EXTREMELY terrified to. I feel like a loser since all of my friends have something going with myself while everyone else does. I can't drive, I don't have a job (never had one), I've never had anyone like me in a romantic way, my weight is not the best, my face isn't too pretty, and I have so many anxiety and social problems. I just feel like I am the DUFF of the friend group. I absolute ******* hate it and I constantly feel embarrassed. My friends try to reassure me but..... they don't really know how it feels to be.... like this. I just want to feel alive ya know. I hope you're probably mad at me rn bc i don't know my worth. BUT *****. I FEEL LIKE ****. Ultimately, I just wanna make my family and myself proud. I wanna be successful and independent (if i wanna be, period.). I also want a very good paying job because I like expensive things. I really want like 5 kids... I know it seems like WAY TOO many kids but I wanna adopt 2 children and give birth to 3. I also need hella money for them too. Over the years, it'll probably go down to 3. One adopted child and 2 pushed out the cooter. I know I sound childish but.... I am a child so..... I hope you never lost the child inside of you. I hope you find a hobby that lights you up inside and vindicates you. You deserve self-love. You deserve happiness in everyway. You deserve companionship and wholeness. All jokes aside I hope things are going spectacular. I hope momma, pops, nana, and papa are all doing AMAZING. Stay true to you. Never stop praying and thanking the most high. I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. OH **** I FORGOT. COVID-19, my god. That ***** took my whole high school experience. I hate her. I can't see my family because of this hoe. I HATE HER. I hope she's gone by the time you read this.