A letter from March 11th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hello, future lily. I'm just writing this because I'm bored and don't want to start my POLS 240 homework yet. I figured I'd get my fingers in the typing mood by writing one of these. I suppose I'll talk about my self-image and how I view people since that has been on my mind a lot recently. So basically, I just this year fully realized ha my nos is weird and not nice by society standards. Like ignores is bliss, but now I'm hyper-aware of it. This is DUMB because it's the same nose I had last year when everyone met me and I didn't try to hide it then. So that has been rough for me th past couple of weeks. I go back and forth a lot between self-love and hate. I'm feeling a SLIGHT bit better about my clothes and style. Like not much but there are a few outfits I am really pleased with myself about. Though hopefully I don't look at pictures of me in 3 months and hate them. Or even worse if you go back and look at spring 2021 lily and think she was ugly and dumb.. aghdhdhuaidgayid just tell me I'm cute, thank you. I also am very judgey this year. It's very weird tho... Like I am obsessed with the way that most girls look. Like I love everything about them I think they're all so unique and beautiful and pretty. Like I genuinely do. But then they also give me the ick sometimes. Like where I just think they're dumb or trying to hard. And I don't know why I think that!!! I wish I was niceeeerrrr. I saw this cute post once where it was a drawing of a bunch of girls who all looked different and above all of them was the same thought bubble that said "she's so cute" and I don't know it just made me so happy. Like I don't usually get jealous of people I just think they're all so cute. And it made me feel better because I think that people have probably done the same thing with me. Like why wouldn't they? I love all kinds of girls so why do I exclude myself from those kinds of things? so yeah, idk I'm trying. beyeeeeyee