A letter from March 7th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, What changed? Have you changed? Did you change? Isnt it crazy how life can be so different than we could imagine years before? It doesn't even have to take a long period of time in between to see the obvious change. First of all, are you still here? or have you met Jonghyunnie? Are you still surviving or already living? Lets reminiscence our old time together. 3 years ago, I just ended my Alevel year and my years in MS. Growing up, I was often told eczema would get better as we age. Never did I think it is the biggest lie ever. Never could I imagine it is actually my biggest factor to miss and delay opportunities. 5 years when you are reading now, did it get better? Has it finally calmed down a bit? 4 years ago, I insisted myself to pursue becoming CP. In Psychology, social and biological were all I know - mental health and special needs. Who could have imagined I would be in my final year, doing my final year project on psychophysics? I said **** it lets do it as it might be my last time touching this area. I am taking a risk. Now you are reading this, do you regret it? was it your last time? Importantly, are you still brave at taking risks? and enjoy it? hahahaha 5 years ago, I was on my Alevel year. My friends and I started attending talks on UK education, on career pathways. Like most people, the only successful indicator of education was studying abroad in UK. I never would have thought I would end up studying in Malaysia. While visualising, I never did worry on the culture shock advice the older generation gave to people who want to study abroad. I never imagined language, the Malay language especially, would end up being my biggest struggle. Never would I have imagined people perceiving me as one of them is a bad thing rather than making it easier to fit in. Can you already converse naturally in Malaysian language? 6 years ago (at time of writing), I was on my Olevel year. I had a classmate, a female with the name starting with F, do you still remember her? She used to be the biggest KPOP fan in the class. The class' conversation on the Korean entertainment seemed like an alien language to me. She made a fuss to us on some EXO members leaving EXO. I never did think I would get into KEnt just bcs I could not imagine myself liking things that I do not understand directly. Well now, I am starting to like KPOP. I am currently a fan of SHINee, RAVI and Blackpink. Who would have thought I would be immersed in kpop? finding strength and comfort in kpop. Who would have thought I would be grieving over a legendary kpop artist - Jonghyun? Currently, my heart is still upset that I have only discovered him and his legacy recently. The empty space of him still leaves a big hole in mine but I emphatise more for the other 4 members and older shawols. 5 years later, when you are reading this, do you still listen to Jonghyun? and rest of SHINee? Are they still a complete group? Do you still find their voices calming and soothing? Most importantly, do they still make you happy? Are they still producing content? Regardless, don't forget to remind them they're doing well, doing a good job and they have worked hard immensely. Shawols are so proud of them. Rightnow they just finished promotion for DCM. Olderwols say its the best promotion they have had. I am very happy to be part of this era :) Has your music taste changed? Are you still in kpop? english songs? What about jpop and anime? Do not worry, I do not have expectations on you. It is just bizarre that life can be at the extreme end of what we usually envision. At the time you receive this, its 8th April. Buy a cake and look at the moon. Lets celebrate our diamond in the sky - Jjong's birthday. After all, he has been cheering and watching over us from up there. Support 5HINee always. Takecare, be strong, be safe, dear futureme.