A letter from March 2nd, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I was as randomly surprised and intrigued by the last one of these as I'm sure you are now so I'd better keep it going. Tradition dictates that I once again congratulate you on staying alive! I'm in Boulder for another month or so, then to Mke to build instruments at Allen's, then dealing w/ friendly, then helping start up the Clipper, then gods know what. The gods-know-what part was more whimsical in the past but has now become a rather serious and scary matter since I found myself unable to keep doing carpentry here. I really don't know what kind of work I'm good for anymore and I ardently hope that you've figured this out. Emmett is just a baby but he's starting to get cute! Colin and I just prototyped the BigsBender and it's rad but the SelectaVibe is still cooler. You better be selling those things or at least working on it. I'm working on recording some instrumental tracks to demo the SAV now. I had a wierd detached *** fling with a girl here that just officially ended by text. We weren't even friends, I barely knew her. It started fun and gradually felt empty and pointless. Its still covid time here and I wonder what kind of bad things are happening in your world. Or maybe everything is better? You got flying cars yet? I'm wondering if you still own Friendly, where the hell you live... These would be a lot more fun to write if they went to my past self. They figure that one out yet? Then I might have some advice, all I have for you is questions. I'll at least try: Keep believing in meditation and exercise. Maybe you don't need therapy if you can keep up with those. Keep quitting bad habits, even if you can't quit forever. It's still worthwhile, gives you perspective. Have fun! It's important, and so much of it is mental that you can do it almost anywhere. Alright enough advice. What else? I just got an email of travel pics from Stevanna tonite. I wonder if we'll meet up this spring, it'd be nice after all the bad blood. I currently feel unfit for love due to mental illness and a rather shallow taste in partners. If you're with someone you'd better be treating them and yourself well. Stewing in your issues alone is just sad but in a relationship it's cruel. I can't believe you're 40 man, I really hope you're ok and not just surviving. I'm worried about you dealing with aging health stuff when I'm struggling to feel ok as it is. Just please keep waiting out the hard parts, looking for better ways and finding things to enjoy. It's not easy right now for me, just living day to day. I've had all the worst thoughts again lately and writing this is good for me, believing that I will be somewhere reading it in 5 years. I'm choosing to believe that you're finally doing genuinely well and this will remind you how far you've come, and to keep it up. Right now I believe, I'll try to hold on to that. I'll try to tell myself things are going to work out, to think of positive notions. It's been hard to do lately but I'll. I'm trying to meditate and stretch a little bit every morning, to record music even when I don't feel like it, to write more. I'm not watching movies or TV except some documentaries, trying to learn new things everyday. I'm doing all of this for you so I hope you appreciate it. I haven't been feeling any gratitude toward my past self and it hurts. You deserve better. Enough for now, I'll see you in 5 years, and I love you! -Shep