A letter from March 2nd, 2021

Dear FutureMe, It’s 3/2/21 12:33am right now, & I’m not gone text you cus I’m tryna do better , but if I were to text you, I’d tell you that I love you and that I’m sorry. I wish you could understand what I’m trying to say, I don’t want you to be mad at me for tryna end up this relationship... I’m just at a weird spot.. I’m so unhappy w/out you but I don’t know if this is it fr ... we been fwe for a while & you’ve grown on me, I’ve love you more than I ever loved anything.. & I know you feel the same about me but my mind and my heart don’t want to line up & accept it... I feel like you’re the one for me but it’s a lot of **** to get through & I just don’t want to keep trying for it to all be for nothing in the end.. my heart willing to risk it for you but my mind is tryna get me to make sure it’s gone work first... But there’s also the point that I feel like we have a bomb *** connection but it’s only in person. & maybe it’s cus we was always together but idk I just want to feel like our bond is so strong that distance couldn’t break it ... not that I plan on being away from her that long & it’s like if the goal is to get married and this that & the third than should being apart that long should matter ? I want us to feel like we can have actual conversations and stuff through text but then it’s like that’s not who she is... & it’s only so much you can change about someone, like I can’t change how much you like to talk. But I feel like I knew all of this before we was od serious and I was still happy. I just think it sucks because I can really see her trying ... I just want whats best for me but I don’t even know what it is ... & then its like just because you been dealing w the same stuff doesn’t make it right for you, you’re just used to it ... idk I just need to wait until the morning and see if I want to say anything ... idk prolly not she hasn’t even texted me back from my last response . Idk dawg I just don’t know ...