A letter from February 18th, 2021

Ok listen, this is what I would say to you if I had the courage: Hi, I know that we haven't spoken in a while but I just need you to listen to me. You stopped talking to me for only God knows what, personal reasons... I really don't care but there's something you should know... ****** I like you, I have liked you from the start and I didn't tell you this because I was scared of getting rejected. When you asked me why I didn't make eye contact with you, I wanted to say "because I would get lost in your eyes", but all I said was "I just don't look into a boy's eyes". And when you said that you didn't have a crush on ********* but instead you had a crush on someone else, I thought that was me, I really did and that was so stupid of me to think that. When you stopped talking to me I hated myself...yes I know it wasn't healthy but that's how I felt. I stayed up every night wondering why you wouldn't talk to me. I actually thought there was something wrong with me and looking back I realized that it wasn't my fault why you stopped talking to me, it was no one's fault. Do you remember the time when you were coming down my street and I started looking at you and you kept looking back, every single day after that I regret looking into your eyes. I got so lost in them that I didn't even realized that my grades had fell. I got a D in math... a D. I don't get low grades and it wasn't your fault. I thought you were my "Prince Charming", my happily ever after. I thought that I needed to be saved but the truth is I didn't. I don't need a prince charming to come rescue me and that was the plain truth. I knew, I knew every text you sent her, we tell each other everything. It did hurt to hear her talk about you every time. But what could I have said... let me tell you. NOTHING... we all knew that she liked you even you knew yourself. This letter isn't about confessing my feelings for you and expecting you to like my back and we live happily ever after, no. This letter is about me letting you go, it's about me dealing with the truth. I promised that I would stay true to myself and the truth is you will never see me the way that I saw you and I'm trying to accept that, you know what actually I accepted it and I moving on now. If you ever get this letter just know that I love you and I will always love you forever and always. Take care of yourself. And also happy birthday:).