A letter from February 17th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Wow. So if this delivers in 2026 I'll be 23... out of college. Will I even use this email anymore? Hopefully. Otherwise, this will be a waste. I'm currently in the middle of my senior year of high school, going through the hardest time of my life. I'm battling Pans Syndrome, and I have been since November of 2020 (now is February of 2021). Every day, I get a bit better, but today I had a very bad day and had to leave school early because I felt so sick. I hope you can look back at this and realize how strong and courageous you are. I hope that you were able to put this experience behind you, whilst still acknowledging all that it taught you. Your horrible existential OCD and Anxiety were all caused by Pans Syndrome, specifically Mycoplasma Pnemounie, and it seriously consumed your life for a long time. I hope you can look back at this and see how far you've come. I know, though this illness is long, and sucks the life out of you, that you will be okay. I know while reading this you are so proud of how far you've come. Did you graduate from Sacred Heart? Did you join Greek Life like you always wanted to? If you had to live at home at the beginning of college because of Pans, that's okay, too. I'm considering that right now, but I still have 6-7 months until college. If I had to do that, I am sending future forgiveness to that girl. Are you still with Jack Warner? Please tell me you are. Please, please, please. I love that boy more than anything in the entire world. He seriously saved me. He's going to play college baseball at Endicott, and while I'm nervous that we'll break up, I do have faith that we will be able to do long-distance. We've been together almost 2.5 years, and I seriously can't imagine a life without him. Not to be all "17-year-old Leena knows everything" but I seriously think he is my soulmate. He is PERFECT for me. Leena, if you aren't with him I'm going to be so sad. I don't think you could find a more perfect person for yourself than that boy. I hope Mom, Dad, Eamonn, Ethel, and Luigi are okay too. I love them all more than anything in the entire world. I hope Nana and Papa and Grandma are still safe and healthy too. I know that life is hard right now, with COVID-19, endless anxiety, and a crippling autoimmune disease (Pans Syndrome,). But, I have faith that it all turned out okay. I hope while reading this, you are proud of how that experience shaped you into becoming a stronger person. I hope you feel proud of the woman you've become, and I hope you are surrounded by beautiful, loving, people. I hope you met amazing people in college and were able to follow your dreams. Life may be hard right now, but I know it will all work out. With love, Leena