A letter from February 17th, 2021

Dear Kiyoro, And here I am again People always say things like "Oh I miss my 6th grade" Etc, every time people talk about it, I cry inside. My 6th class was the most painfull part in my life. It all started when I lost my 5th/6th class. I was with 9 others in the 5th class and the 25 others were 6th class. There was an 5th class A and they were with 27. I didn't like any of them, but I had my friend Jana so I stayed strong and went with the 9 others to that class.. Since Jana got all her other friends in that class, I got less attention from her, and yea- I had no other friends. Well I had one, Tijmen, but he isn't that talkactive and we both got shipped so- It was horrible, really, no one liked me exept Jana and I was lonely. The 6th camp, well. I was in a room without Jana, so I was again very lonely. And ofc me and Jana got into a fight about replacing me, since I just were in my room all day. I had no one, rlly no one. Ofc the fight between me and Jana got fixed Hehe. 6th class musical, I got the good big role (: I rlly can't remember much anymore but it was the start of loosing Jana to my friends. I was very anxious, almost got a panic attack amd ofc others were, but hey they had friends who helped each other. I felt again lonely. Luckly I had the friend Tijmem who got the other big role (: It was rlly funny but yeah. So I was in the 7th grade with Jana, Sayou and Chayenne. We were a friendgroup, until It was gym class and I got picked out with Jana, so me, my mentor and my best friend for 7 years started to talk. She told me that she didn't want to be friends with me anymore, just no. I broke. It rlly was my only friend and after all those years. So I had no friends anymore. Then, in the end of 7th grade, Jana txted me saying that she misses everything between us. I said no, idk if I regret it, idk anything about this. Chayenne chooses her side and she told that she always was a better friend and that moment I broke again. All the years were a lie. I am still so **** mad at everyone from my past. I still think about those things at night, I can't do anything about it. Just crying while letting my big polar bear hugging me. Sometimes I think, maybe it was meant to be. I have a friendgroup now with a girl I've known for 13 years now, and other good boys and girls. I'm just so **** scared to loose them. Well thanks for listening, I hope you rlly have a good time, bc I don't. It's almost 00:00 so I'm just gonna overthink more.. love you <3