A letter from February 7th, 2021

Crush Culture – Conan Gray Dear FutureMe, I recently visited the doctor and found out about my bladder infection soon. Whenever I went there I got my blood work and it turns out I might be anemic from losing a lot of blood. That was from Tuesday. So no I don’t really know what to do with the excessive bleeding that I’ve been experiencing today and the last few days. I am hoping that this isn’t going to be a severe problem but I talk to a nurse today for medical advice and I was told to drink a lot more water and try adding iron to my diet. This is honestly been a really bad experience though and I really want bleeding to stop so I’m hoping I don’t have to visit any hospitals and can figure out if there’s any other issues with my body or something. Whenever I get the chance I will get to see the doctor again but I don’t really know why this is happening to me of course. In the mean time is it only wait since it’s the weekend and I can’t do anything unless something happens like I faint or something. This is honestly awful time with the dorms water problems and washing machines out of order in the suites building and not being able to go in and see a doctor to Speak with her immediately. Victoria is Really testing my soul. Sleep but even when I lie down I can’t stop thinking and just fall asleep easily anymore. I know it’s going to take a while before I can really figure out what’s going on so I’m trying to wait it out till Monday to call them and see if I can get an appointment or something. My thoughts are really racing today and I haven’t felt very well about myself either. Even though I enjoyed my time at the beginning of the week and last weekend I can’t really ignore the fact that I feel disgusting and depressed again. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to write another more negative or a sad future of me email but somehow ends up being this way. If only I could just make the bleeding stop at least but it just continues on and on so I’m hoping that the nurse will call back to check on me and hopefully I can do something to at least reduce the bleeding. I don’t want this to be an emergency and you’re probably isn’t anyways but my head is starting to hurt and it was hurting earlier. now I’m talking to myself since neither Miguel or Jun can call me. Things just get even worse since I don’t know exactly what to do and I don’t know where to go even know how to judge the extremities of this bleeding. I’m not in severe pain I want to be able to do my work without feeling so distracted and fatigued. This will probably be another event that I forget about in the future and Will survive without needing anything crazy. Doing this through the call or actually the voice automated typing is probably making me more annoyed than helping me I guess. It’s whatever though I’m just talking as if I had somebody else to talk to you but it’s fine. I don’t even know what caused the bladder infection and I would hope that I can get more information on that but not involve me talking to the nurse and I just wish the doctor had stayed around to talk to me more about what I might be able to do. She didn’t even really say what to do in the meantime besides take the antibiotics and that seriously did not seem to help me in anyway but I guess the excessive bleeding is probably just from the infection. Have to take it for two more days and then I’ll be out of those pills. Can already feel myself leaking again even worse it feels like when peeing myself but really it’s just the good. This might actually be one of the worst letters I’ve written since I’m doing it through voice it’ll probably be super unorganized. Wondering how you’re doing and what other medical problems facing in my future. Imagine actually living through this. Only you will know when I will actually get better and also if I even get anemia. If I do have anemia it would be a good excuse for me to eat more beef steak and hopefully I can get the kale salad recipe if I even get a reply from somebody. I’ll just deal with this blood clot and bleeding from all this month long crap. If this makes me excessively cold though that would suck since I normally morning temperatures in my blanket around 69-68 degrees. It’s also hard for me right now since I feel like nobody really cares about my issue even though I’ve been repeating this to several people. But I know they’re not medical professionals to give me a Joe buys so all I can do is actually talk to somebody who has advice for me like the nurse. But they can only do so much so I don’t want toHow to talk about this anymore but right now in the moment it’s affecting me so much. I don’t want to deal with it and I’m just getting tired of seeing all this blood and bleeding through all the clothes though. It’s so unproductive to be sitting around waiting for something just happened but I can’t be motivated like this. Because I kept feeling tired and just wanting to stay in my bed and lay down.It’s tripping again to the back I can tell. I really just wantTo talk to somebody but at this time even want to talk to me anymore and all I do is complain. Been fighting with myself all day feeling disgusted unhappy about The situation and it just the lack of friends concerns. Maybe it’s just because I’m also irritable all day just don’t wanna be around people but at the same time I want to talk to people. This is honestly so stupid but such a conflicting set of emotions. Please wake me up when does pandemic is over already. I really want things to go back to normal but I have no idea how long until those vaccines are actually going to be administered to everybody and if it even works well enough to help people. I can already tell this is going to be so repetitive for this email so I’m probably gonna need to stop talking about this stuff. I guess I’ll just say some of the good stuff that happened recently like how I bought a Crosstitch kit & a new puzzle of Pokémon eveelutions. I’m so happy it was so cheap too. I know cant do it right now Since the end of getting distracted and forgetting about my homework and time. I’m hoping I can test out the watercolor pens or just have fun with coloring in the new soul Coloring book. Even though it’s a mini one I think I can still work with that. Where is everybody when I need them..? [Sunday, February 7, 2:13 AM]