A letter from February 16th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, How are you feeling? I’m really scared, nervous and anxious right now. It’s currently 3 days before A’Level results release, but when you’re reading this, you already know your results. I just want you to know that we did the best that we could at that time without making extreme sacrifices, so whatever grades that we get, you don’t have to be happy with it, but please go easy on ourselves. We tried our best. I’m proud of us. From now on, I hope you figure out your path. Wherever the current takes us, we’ll make sure to go with it, keep afloat and never drown. Best wishes (like really, best wishes for us, I’m hoping to hear good news from you), PastMe

Epilogue

4 months later

Update for my PastMe!

I did - well, relatively okay, in hindsight - but the moment I got my results, I was dumbfounded. The first feeling I registered while sitting...

Edge fo at paiempnoidstnt my hgcuilntc fo atse saw kcba rrecno het sahnd het llits teh ta arne owodrya, het ssalc ohbt tlrsue i,slp my. .
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Of to fro saw a mi,eryshtc c omst a a c ofr yicssph nda igsnee tteule,irra rhcunsgi fevoiautr d snoles,s eaylrl atnted utnetronafu rfo ym cjtbesu ,all. ,seseiccn nerve i ebttre astel a i uldoc my pdtecexe i ta od do elwl tuohgth ot for tub aregd. Ofr erieaurttl as. . . Wehn we athw both ifen" do etulterari itl dtetaden broefe tdol reh iq cerlla rteceha e:xma frendi wie slconatotuin ayd a iwll "'ndot yo,rwr and ouy my me i ym. Na eyt a, c aueesbc oesrcd a of us adn nowrg so ht,ore wgro,n s'ehs neo nto eth. Ddi ese( to e)rhe?t tbsecjeuvi u,ers adr,ge tub a tretiaruel si iltsl tjusbce i twah. . . Eht i uto ,lla isth idpaoniistpng fo toms deagr lefe aws. Epers ot evah okwn trssse nad craignopm to i beefro sefmyl i gnaai hat?w tsop out my oyu aeryll mysfel tgo. Me, olpepe tnha will olpeep ntah who lsawya mdebru nad ehter be era strrmea me who rea. Is aervgea nohuge sa 'erew ogod sa phyap ngebi lgno. Siytht e'tls itsh esrsuiylo, asplee ,aibth otsp.
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Is nto uto ycrifal 57 dsluoh alucylat oesrdc rnak nto 90, oot bd,a chhwi ogdo cer,os too ehreti pistno a i tshglyil aeearvg tihs of i eaovb at thta on,tip. .
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Adegsr sa a dkechos hmuc fo o,ngpim cpeatc two or at,opednsidip eftl sa ym to and mcea i dya i eevn ipapcetrae taerf. Ercos, an eseth uyralgba ot enve grsdae a oto! reus mhats hte adn fro tow a eepxdtnue,c reew learegn fdclutfii ofr e,papr most i for cesrdo ctjesub avhe. Hseet ewre orf c, tow a su htieshg yuo cebtsusj ie'v ocdrse ht?ta of ni ma teh eyrlal can i cosolh ever vieelbe porud. Truyl. .
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Antw ni no ro tfca a orcse i eth aigusnm /,dc uot tath tiereh asol oll to npito na ebweent i. Triehe 'im ucsk, at ti i oodg ro yllaer. S'ahtt i uegss ,ma i woh.
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Ftirs ,57 i cioech iwth esigbgt ni nersiivisetu my heret wtih eht ni rtncyo,u imnincmutoaco roajm ediaplp a tihs as fo ot rp a. Ehcoi,c rtonlaeuu,nyft yb o,lyoscgoi swa i fro adn swa ntseiad reffoed tdjceere ,snu ym tnu tlymeopcel nedocs. Eatnamgenm fdoeerf uisebssn me eh,inelmwa ,msu. .
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Npeo ibg serivenu ies,k" who ton - i fo ciisctummaoonn ,ilef eht to eenv rfo whne nnuyf sdai llfiyna useurp one erenv urc,soe teeigehn a and aryes uoy" - a iwth a dha to in ,mdrea eamrd a pu amec ym nogl i edeerg. .
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In teh enamgnmeat edn teh ot cteapc osceur ssunbsie i eedcidd. Where ni atwn be me hte htsi ldae ldcuo to i refutu listl sraehpp ot.
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Ym ndoecs hec,ico oecchi may ontetg ym my btu life be tsfir tihs nreev in iv'e naawyy. Latgeyn,rs nsoced iocceh ym aawsly gte i. Llwe ho. Seymlf a is't em ttreeb i rae nrn,eetvtinoi ro ro edianlg htaw tihw crmtoof perspha nveiid ot it's just parpshe up rephaps ,ptha seteh all to s'e'ecsux aemc fo snaso'r'e. .
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Ew eht adn lt'se ot jtsu no, drnow tyr tlafo ielk tamer?t lyaswa ont odse em 'im ,to rcreias tpha ceelplauyf thwa rhvaetwe rrtunec wrheerve a,sy ti. Ppahy eb 'etls. Acn atths' ask fro lla i. .
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Veo,l.
Urmeutfe.
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P. S. Lryeal rpdou am i of su, mi'. Sortffe ew i ,stih out uodiscnt to'nw hadr hwo i adn orf owkn droekw. Gseo n!o lfei.