A letter from February 16th, 2021

Dear Wild child, I know all my triggers and I know what I should avoid. But I still do it, makes me think I do have a drinking problem. After I get so drunk I always feel the same afterwards always. -worthless -lonely - bad mother - stupid - fat - annoying - friendless - ugly It’s always me I don’t know how to have friends and I feel lonely. Yes it’s my fault idk how to be a good friend or maybe I don’t want people near me. It’s always me it’s all my fault and I feel ******. So ******* ****** this is bad for my mental health I can’t drink I can’t drink I think I’m crazy. I’m literally so pathetic that I need to write letters to myself because I have no one to turn to because it’s me alone with my thoughts it’s only me I know I have to change those feelings but it’s me I’m the problem.