A letter from February 15th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Second time I'm doing this, not sure why 😂 wonder where I'll be in 5 years, what I'm doing and where I've been. Yesterday was valentines day and my girlfriend said she loved me for the first time. Ella I ******* hope you're reading this with me in 5 years ❤ see what happens hey life is always full of surprises. Never been happier with anyone it's a **** nice feeling. I really think we'll last, wonder if ill be laughing or crying when or if I read this is half a decade hahaha we will see hey. Bit about myself, not doing the best mentally at the moment all the trauma from my childhood is creeping back up, feeling unloved and I'd be better off dead sometimes even though I know it's just my dumb **** head talking ****, been dropped back to part time at work due to a combination of my boss being a ******* and me just not doing as good as I should be doing. Working through it the same way I always have. Alone. Ella tries her best to help and it means to world to me, but only I can change it. might see a therapist we'll see if it escalates. Don't think it will. Love yourself and remember nothing worth doing is easy!! Don't really know what else to write, 93kg 6'5 deadlifting 170kg. Get bulkerer. driving a 2004 red **** as **** hilux hope she's still going in 5 if I don't sell it 😂. Music wise this song called In my shirt by the irrepressibles speaks to me (not doing well mentally remember 😘) Friends wise tye and I been going strong, he's moving to the top end and proposing to his gf soon he reckons, hope it goes well for him. Blake is over in the US playing soccer. Brock will be in England by then I reckon doing his best. Let me know what I'm doing hey, wonder if I'll have savings hahaha ya old dumb ******. P.s sorry Ella if we've broken up and you get this my bad but I'm sending it to you as well if something happens to me, might be cute 😜💦 Talk in 60 months ya big **** german ❤❤ Sort ya ******* communication **** out by then. Don't just be good, DO GOOD