A letter from February 11th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, How was your life after high school? Is it better? Did you graduate? I have so many questions. I’ writting this on my iPhone 8. I don’t want to put any pressure on you, but I would really just like to know if you’re living that life you manifested few years ago. I am really into manifestation right now and I believe I will get there and I hope you didn’t lose hope, whatever happened. I know you’re taking the most from life. I hope you’re finally stable but also this is exactly what I am thinking or I was thinking a few years ago from now, that I will be mentally stable, have everything figured out, but it’s a ********. You’re still young and if you dont have your life figured out, I think you still have time. I’m not a person that should say that because I’m so young right now and I’m still gonna be young when I read this. Sometimes I just feel like I’m so hard to love and I’m afraid I will waste my potential. Right now I’m thinking about making my own eshop, I don’t know if it will work out, maybe yeah maybe not.. I always wonder if I’m going to get rich? Wow. Are you rich rn?:Dd well I hope the answer is yes! I hope you learned something about investment and I hope you are studying somewhere, my dream was to study in Amster*** or London or something like that. But if you didn’t want to go to college, that’s okay too. I just hope you’re not a piece of **** and you’re doing something for yourself, because you always did, even if it was hard. Are still toxic people in your life? God****. Cut them. Are you satisfied with your body, with your face? I have some acne problems with right now and it’s really taking my confidence out, but I’m trying to get better. Wooow what the **** I have so many questions.. Do you live alone now? Are you happy living alone? You always wanted to live abroad or in Prague, that would be so cool. But now I’m going to talk about myself a little bit more because I’m sure you forgot what was happening in 2021 . I’m planning a trip to London and Amster*** this summer, but I don’t know if it’ll work out because of Corona - but same time I don’t give a ****, its there for almost a year and I absolutely ******* hate it and I’m so overwhelmed with it. I know it could be worse and I know you may appreciate that I had free some “free” time, but online school is just too much sometimes. I have some problems with my math teacher, I’m gonna argue with her today in online class, wish me luck lol - I’m sure you can’t even think about her now. She’s a *****. This winter is so depressing. But last year I kinda missed my depression season lol, I’m glad. I have something to do all the time. I have a lot of friends right now, but I’m sure they’re not real friends and by now, do you even say HI to them? Haha probably not, because you live somewhere else out of town. I’m sure about that. But now I have a lot of guy friends and I kissed like four members of their friend group, so they called my phone and called me a **** and a *****, blocked me everywhere. But I don’t give a ****, there’s nothing bad that I did. They’re hypebeasts and drug dealers anyways haha:D I still haven’t had a boyfriend because of my trust issues. You know how bad luck I got with boys. But I’m not that sad about it, I just know the right person will come when he’s supposed to. Did you notice I’m writting this in English? Wow, I’m so cool. I’m so proud of myself. I’m kinda sad that my high school experience got ruined. I still have two more years tho. But my class? Omg they’re so fake. I hate my school so much, but I don’t know where else would I go? I think I will just get through it. What am I even doing there. I don’t really need to be a part of that system. You know I always hated the system. I am trying to workout, sometimes I’m just lazy but sometimes I’m really into it. I spend a lot of time on TikTok, but it’s actually not that bad, because that app literally changed my mindset. I’m sure that app doesn’t even exist or it’s just dead or smth. I’m also taking care of my grandad, he recently lost his legs and he’s not able to move. I’m sleeping over there like 2-3 times a week. It’s good because I can at least go out late. I’m trying to help my dad with taking care of him. I’m sure my grandad is probably dead by now. That’s just life, isn’t it? Oh. I also signed to a HighSchool Business Challenge, (ohh few minutes ago I discovered our team is not accepted, because we got only 17/40, but that’s okay atleast we tried) I don’t even know what am I doing there!!:D And also signed for SuperStar, more like for trolling, but I think I can sing actually kinda good. But that competition is just a commercial ********, so that’s why I don’t want to take it seriously. It’s more like a reality show. I am just trying to do as many things as possible, so I can find myself better. And who gives a ****? Nobody does. It doesnt matter. I can do whatever I want. I dont chase anything, I attract. And what belongs to me, will simply find me. What else would I say about myself now. Well, I’m afraid of wasting my time, but it’s so hard to start something right now and I just don’t have anything figured out, gosh, I’m sure you thinking “what a dumb kiddo..” but thats okayy. I know I make mistakes but I’m not trying to be perfect, I’m trying to learn from it. I hope you’re not mad at me for not starting doing something I loved. But regrets are forever right? I’m trying to live my teenage life to the fullest. I still try with EF, but I don’t think I will ever get there, only on my own. I applied for a part time job, tomorrow they will send me an email if I’m accepted or not. I want to save money for nike blazer mid’s and airpods and obviously my summer trips. It’s really hard to find a job nowadays. I’ll be kinda sad if they won’t accept me, because this is the time that I need a job the most, so I can live my live to the fullest when it’s possible. I hope summer will be unforgettable. My parents are kinda mad at me but it dissapears, they forget by time plus they have many problems and they’re glad I’m helping with grandpa so there’s not a time for that. There was always no time for me im my family. But atleast I’m so much more independent at a young age. My step mother pisses me off sometimes, I will never forget what she did to me, but I’m used to it so I hope we’re not in a conflict or something. I really tend to forget what people did to me, so I decided to write it down to my notes. I’m drinking almost every single week, sometimes twice or more times a week. I don’t know what happened to me. But I have it under control. Sometimes I smoke weed, it calms me and my anxiety down, but I don’t want to spend my own money on weed and become addicted. I can’t wait for parties lol. I really miss normal life. My and my best friend are going to go to Prasek every single party. Because why not? The moment after corona when we’re free will be unforgettable. My dream is to visit New York and travel as much as possible. Okay, now I want to ask you some questions. Did you apply for modelling? I mean you’re really pretty, you’re always been pretty and you know that. Did you apply for acting? You’re really good at acting, you have so much potential and I hope you tried something and if you didn’t, do it right now because you’re an adult already and you don’t have a clue how much more chances you have than when you were 16 like I’m now. Don’t waste your time, please. But I’m not stupid and I know how hard life can get, so I’m so proud of you. If you’re alive, reading this right now, on your phone or notebook, yoi ate today, you woke up today, you did something for yoursef today, you smiled today, you opened your mouth today, you read today - I’m soooo proud of you. Look at how far you’ve come. I’m sure you need to hear that. You’ve been through so much. But you have a purpose. You’re not like ANYONE ELSE, i repeat, you’re SPECIALL. I always knew that. I just need to find myself. I’m sure you want to give me so many advices, you would do so many things differently and that’s okay. I’m just trying to take as many chances as possible and live my life. I’m thinking about getting my nose pierced! My parents will **** me. Or no they won’t because they didn’t do it till now lol:Dd Do you remember the crazy **** we did? And it all just starts. Going to Prague to get drunk with random boys, escaping reality, missing school for fun, blasting music just because you’re happy, going to Futurum for Bsmart or McDonald’s with your best friend, going to your friend’s house to get your nails done, cycling to the city every day of summer, trains to Prague, dancing in the rain, watching stars, parties, new people, the beach (omg i miss that so much), going to a private parties to be so ******* loud and make all neighbours angry, snucking out at night, lying to your parents that you’re staying at you best friend’s house and being in completely random city, concerts, good vibes, kissing random boys, making fun of yourself in public, the mornings after sleepovers, kebab, running to the bus stop over the forest when you have only 15 minutes to get there, ClubHouse talks all night, facetiming with your friend and telling her what happened over the day, making your favorite pasta, seeing your little siblings laugh. It’s all of that that matters. I don’t know what else to say, I’m writting this for over an hour. I just want you to be happy no matter what, and own your ****. I’m so proud of you, and I love you. Let me know how you’re doing. I’m so excited for your answers, I’m sure everything is so much different by now, omg. Love you! XX Šárka 11.02.2021