A letter from February 11th, 2021

hey person i hate most, Me. Im experiencing a lot of self hate rn. I hate my weight but i can't stop eating.I hate my scars but the draw of the blade is still strong. I hate that i love them but i really do love them. I used to hate my mum for smoking now i'm a nicotine addict. I hate getting mocked for drinking to much alcohol but i still drink because i need it. I hate how numb i feel but i don't want to feel either. I hate that i'm *** but i really love girls. i hate you. I hate me. I dont think im making it to 2026. I want to die. Istg here is a promise if dad dies then i'll follow. Because he is my light and without him i have NOTHING . Sad but true.... Does this count as hate mail to myself? Gonna go cry to Be still BY The ******* , my dads song to me... i'll light a ***, cry a bit ,steal vodka from mum ,message my ex and hopefully get 3 hours of sleep at least . Dear me or you or Tallulah or whatever I ******* HATE YOU . SO SO MUCH !!! <3<3<3<3<3