A letter from February 10th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Whats up man, its Patrick, you're knocking this assignment out while listening to some ******* inspirational video for night school so you can graduate and go to bootcamp. Also your foot ******* hurts like hell cuz u were wrestling with dutch while smoking cigars. So you're either suceeding or not, did you make it out of the corps yet? Did you even get in? Are you living in a van yet, maybe a dog too? I dont know if its worth asking questions i cant know the answer to now. But maybe itd be beneficial just to tell you how it was today. It was kind of a weird day, i woke up at 330 thought I was late for PT and ran out like crazy to make it in time, turns out I wasnt late. Dante's leaving for bootcamp soon, I hope he enjoys it like Nick Garcia has. I havent done much today, im just trying to get my assignments done, you know? Life is pretty simple, I dont havce a job, im just hanging with the guys, working out, living easy. Still really just trying to look my best and get girls while having a good time. Are you still like that I wonder? Im not sure if im happy, I dont think so, but I also dont think im depressed. Im just living life as it comes, i dont really hyave anything to make the time go faster until I actually start my life, just counting days. Its like laying in bed trying to sleep with your eyes open, nothing you can do will make the time go faster, and theres nothing going on to devote all that free time to. No lady in your life right now, and oh yeah big 18 in 9 days. Not really gonna change much for me, probably wont celebrate it but we'll see. The guy in the video is talking about his wifes ****** cancer. Thats a bummer. I love mom, I love ryan, even brendan. And im blessed to have all my friends. Still not getting on much with Dad. But I still have 80 dollars left of what he sent me. I dont know what to spend it on. I spent 15 dollars today on one of the worst meals of my life at that stupid ******* noodle place. I see what Jimmy means, that **** is unfulfilling. Im cold. Im tired, and i dont know or think i will ever read this letter im writing, but maybe it is beneficial to vent. I dont know, i hope that ill figure out what im doing and fast. I hope I find something that makes me wish that time wasnt going so fast. I dream that ill be big, that everyone ive known will be glad they knew me. thats it, thats all. Im sorry if youre reading this it isnt really that special. But its more than you have from when i was younger. Its crazy to think this is the turning point in my life and i dont have more to say. What does that say? I wish my **** was bigger, that the biggest thing(or not depending on the angle) well good luck Patrick, I hope youre ******* it wherever you end up. and i hope youre happy. Live easy and love my friend.