A letter from February 9th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I hope u're going to feel better and less anxious because u deserves all the happiness in this world! :) Today ur 23 years old self realized how much we hate our current company, how this job make u feeling ur passion slowly dying. How much u questioned ur own life choice thorught high school till collage, u know this feeling right? That kind of feeling when ur heart didn't beating for exicitement whenever we touch plain canvas or happinesd when u vibing after find new song u love. No matter how much people said u'are one of lucky person for have a job in this company u feel like slowly dying. U want nothing more than this place but too coward for exit door since u still didn't know what u are really gonna do after that. Right now I kind of understand why so much young adult need caffein for mood boooster, how long the night are when u can't sleep a blink and how scary ur "imagination" can affect ur whole mood for a week. I still dunno what I wanna do in life. But one thing for sure, I thing I want to create something that make my heart beating again. My own blank canvas to start a new, without pressure to become perfect and just enjoying working while time passed. A canvas that make me didn't regret I wasted my young age working for this piece. I just want to feel happy again. Hey my 30 years old, what about u? Did u finally feel happy? did u finally leave that company or still in that place but finaly find joy and peace there? Whatever ur choice, I just hope we didn't regret it. If we do, then take a lesson from there. BUT DONT EVER! NEVER! U FORGET THIS! If u still feel restless today then it's okay. If u still enjoying being alone than find a life partner, it's good too . U still have a long way to go, just because you are near the end of 30's didn't mean ur whole life near the end. It's okay to feel kinda sad but don't forget to smile, it's improve serotonin in ur brain! ;) #wink Back to the current problem, now I need to work overtime too :( Ur company laptop is kinda suck since it's keep not responding so I kinda have this little act to wrote this. I hope we became financial stable enough in ur time to buy much more nice computer. And god, do I hope we have our own palce to decorate. U love interior design too, right? We always have this perfect image how our house gonna be since collage with our besfriend "F.A" I hope u keep being friend with her! God, she's really patience to befriend us! And don't forger "W.D.A" too! U're fond of her! So that's it I guess? I really need to work now :( Bye! Night! And take good care, please! I still learning to love u but don't worry, I trying to improve everyday!