A letter from February 7th, 2021

Dear Curtis, It’s me - Rachael (the ******* intern). The date is the 7th of February 2021. The time: 10:58pm. Currently, we’re in a global ******* pandemic, our *** lives non-existent, our social lives now on Zoom and our self respect.. well.. that wasn’t there to begin with. It’s been a couple of months since we last saw each other in person (I think in December). As you can probably tell from this letter, lockdown has fully got to me and I’ve resorted to reading.. a book! Not even just Twitter or the captions of TikToks. I’m reading 1984 and it got me thinking, I should get my predictions in now in order to relish in their accuracy in 2026. Is your skin still baby soft?? Has your drag evolved?? hopefully. Did you finally get “straight to the top”??? These are the questions that haunt me. Well, here are my guesses anyway: - you have started some sort of empire. I hope something to do with body positivity or something that utilises that big old marketing brain of yours. - you’re still in London (hopefully) and Kim is still messy but during a wine and cheese night now. - you still love Real Housewives and have met a few of the housewives. They didn’t look as good in person but you enjoyed the experience. - you have finally let go of other Rachel and proclaimed me, the superior, fresher and only Rachael for you. - you have finally accepted your status as a true basic ***** and tried or started some sort of podcast. Perhaps on marketing as you once suggested? - you have met my wycombe friends and were surprised that some of them were nice and normal but disappointed with the behaviour of others (Nasir). Of course, I would love to know when and if you ever receive this letter in order to be congratulated on the accuracy of the claims above. I’m sure whatever you do, it will be amazing and I can’t wait to find out first hand! Lots of love, Rachael xxx