A letter from February 3rd, 2021

Dear Me, I . . . . honestly don't know what to say. You know that many of your past selves need a hug. Myself, included. I can only hope things are better when you are as you read this. I know better than to put more expectations on yourself so I can only hope that the situation is relatively better. I'm okay right now. I HAVE TO BE OKAY. I AM OKAY! F*** . . . I just feel so defeated. I wanna go home. I want to run away from everything. From these fake smiles. Someone just be honest and hate me. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA There's no better future to look to. Because it's not real. Sincerely, Me