A letter from January 26th, 2021

Hey, it's me again. don't know when the last time was that I wrote to you, but I reckon a lot has changed since then. I don't want to repeat the whole story because you have lived it after all, but this is whats going on in my life. We're in the second lockdown of corona "(or third?) honestly I don't know anymore. Kinda sad that my time to shine is thrown out the window. Since this year I am finally really growing into my skin. I feel one with the thoughts and values of the body I'm in. My mind has travelled places I'd rather not visit again but nonetheless, it at least left me with the knowledge and motivation to move forward and look for happiness. everyone is dealing with issues but for the first time, my focus is on letting go. letting all my thoughts go loose without regulation, feeling free in thinking whatever the limits of my mind allow. I'm different in that sense. I hope I still am whenever you read this. there is a long road ahead of me, but I have finally figured out how to be brave enough to get there. if you need a reminder : you're only living for yourself, otherwise, it is not worth the hassle you're young, and allowed to wander a while don't stress yourself by planning out each year ahead of you, it will all fall into place in the end. this is the time to enjoy living not planning. you are not missing out. remember that mindset that you had when we were in Lofer? I don't know if I will ever get that tattoo but if I have forgotten than I better get it right now. that was me, pure me. and different from what I might think, I can reach her easier than I believe. reality-check yourself, be proud and look for tomorrow instead of 10 years. age is a number, so is income. and security is a mindset. you have the means, you just need the courage. I'll get off your back now, go back to enjoying whatever you're doing and in the case that you are not, get out and live while you still can :) I love you. stay dope, 20-year-old me (2nd-year student, burnout, new, learning me)