A letter from January 22nd, 2021

Dear Future Dean, (this is 5 years ago) im currently sitting in my boring photoshop class right now. i am at the beginning of the semester and i am already overwhelmed with all the homework. i bet u failed one or 2 classes but thats okay. im ngl ive been very depressed and lonely recently. i honestly hope uve made some new friends. i bet u enjoy living in an apartment for once and i cant wait to get outta the dorm. wow i bet u have a cat too and thatll probably be fun. man i hope u have gotten a girlfriend at some point. you know ive been wanting one for years. god i wish i could skip this semester. do u have an okay graphic design job? i imagine you reading this and seeing that u did not meet any of my expectations. if thats the case just hang in there man. holy **** im so curious of what my music sounds like now. did 434 eternities turn out good? im just starting the first 2 tracks. i dont even have ableton 11 yet. im writing all of this in the middle of class lol, maybe not the best idea but i already know most of it. its such a pain right now having to sneak out of the dorm and find a place to smoke weed or occasionally smoking in the restroom, i bet u got that figured out so thatll be amazing for me and im jealous lol. i hope u got an album out every year or so, if u did i bet ur music is sick- no pressure. im just randomly writing what ever comes to my head btw, this isnt supposed to be some formal structured letter. just now as im writing this class has ended. and im writing without the use of an r key (mapped to f10 remember?) i hope this letter makes it to u and u read it, who knows what will happen in 5 years. honestly there is a chance i will have committed suicide before i get the chance to read this. prob not though. right now i look back on my old self 5- 10 years ago and i think i was a super weird dork. i regret so many of my decisions and the way i presented myself back then. I wonder if you think that i was a werido when i wrote this? i really dont think im that weird right now, im confident and function well socially for the most part. i bet u do think im weird but i think u should reconsider. im really not that bad right now lol. im about to go smoke weed in the bathroom now so just a few more things. im scared that in 5 years my life is going to be falling apart, i think its a possibility that you have no friends or girlfriend. maybe ur losing hope. if that is the case- its not the end of the world and you can still turn things around. and once u do turn things around- no one has to know that you were alone for so long. once u have more friends and a gf- u can just pretend those years before didnt ever exist and u will fit in fine, and even if u eventually tell people that u spent years alone or maybe you spent years without a decent job, those people will understand and ull be fine. i honestly wish the best for you- wherever you are in life and you know im telling u the truth. love u man- keep ur head up