A letter from January 21st, 2021

Dear Future eden or steven/stevie , This is kinda dumb, i dont really know why i am doing this😂. Im bored today, so what else. Yesturday i found out like i really liked being called steven or stevie. I dont know why it makes me so happy when someone calls me that instead of eden, but thats a thought for a later day. 10th grade has been kicking my ***. It doesnt help that we moved from utah to texas in the middle of the year. Right now i have one friend, im not complaining. They are really great, im glad i met them. Ohh im currently reading a book, its called, A Visit from the Goon Squad. So far its really good, and im excited to read the rest. I am also really obsessed with She-ra and the Princesses of Power. I have no shame in that I love that show with my whole hear and i will never not cry when i watch it. I guess i kinda wanna see if you are still watching it. I am kinda scared. For my future, i guess. Im scared to see where i will end up. Mom has said some terrible things to me, and i dont want those things to become a reality, but that is what i fear will happen. Right now im thinking about going into psychology. It really interests me, i really enjoy it. My favorite singer is JoyWave, live his music. I think im bi. Mom hates that, hates me for it, but it is what it is. I havent been sleeping good, but thats probably becuase i refuse to go to bed at a reasonable time. I also really love the movie spiderman into the spiderverse. I havent watched it in a while because they took it off of netflix. I cried my eyes out. I want to rent it but mom still hates the movie. So she said no, boooo. I want the dvd but mom also said no, which was rude. Because one of my brothers got all four if hus favorite movies on dvd, and now we are forced to watch them like 2 times a week. I am also really confused, like about who i am, who i want to be, etc. I want to be a girl, but at the same time i dont, ugh its so confusing and i cant even talk to the parents about it bc they want me to be some catholic, straight, cis girl. And i dont know if thats what i want to be. The struggle is realllll. I want to know if you ever got to play the drums, or cut your hair short like i want to, or finally got a longboard. Did you move out of the house and get away from mom. I hope you are doing good. I hope your mental health is good, and i hope you are eating. I struggle with eating so i hope that i have gotton out of that. But no matter what I AM PROUD OF YOU. i wish someone said that to mee lolll. So here is me saying it to me, thats weird to think about. Anyways im supposed to be doing homework, but i dont want to. Oh yeah! Is mom still looking through your phone like twice a week, she keeps looking through my phone, like she is going to find something. Like ma'am there is nothing here. She goes through all of it. My instagram, snapchat, photos, videos, emails, and like basically anything she can click on, i really hope she stopped doing that. Its so annoying. Ohh is ollie still with you, i love my kitty shes so pretty. I hope you have gotton anxiety meds, you probably really need it. Like if i need it rn imagine when i have a job, bleh. I want to get anxiety meds, but mom doesnt think i have anxiety so im probably never gonna get those, lmao. Oof, she also doesnt think i have depression. And that sucks lol. Anyways i can feel my anxiety like taking over me rn😂 so im gonna finish my hw then clean the whole house, thats what mom needs me to do boooooo. I really dont want to do that. But whatever it has to happen. Ok byeeee i hope you are doing ok. I love you a lot, wow has anyone saod that to me recently. I have no idea, anywaysss for realsss byee