A letter from January 12th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, One of the prompts in this creativity book Jasmine Gill/Hair gave me was the typical, what do you think your life will be like in five years? This question was so much easier in January 2014 after a late-night screening of The Wolf of Wall Street, when my immediate path was so clear cut. I don't know what the **** is going to happen in 2025. Last year taught us that Apocalypse is real, despite our best attempts at complacency. So I figured I'd ask the only person who actually knows what's going to happen in 2025. I'll shoot this to Christmas, since by then you'll have reflected on the whole pivotal year of 2025 and all that. Hopefully you'll have internalized and accepted turning 30, etc. Here I am, three in the morning, drinking a secret desk cupboard Wild Rose Wraspberry, taking a break from reading "Writing Down the Bones" by Natalie Goldberg because I cannot force myself to write that four-page memo for a fake CPLED criminal law file. Do I even like criminal law anymore? I'm not sure. Probably not. Have I ever liked criminal law? It's not like I read about it in my spare time or anything resembling what a passionate person would do. Then again, am I passionate about anything? It seems I'm only passionate about my innate nihilism and misery. Also, please tell me you've read Misery by now. It's been sitting on my shelf for at least a year. ****, 30. I can't even imagine. I don't have a roadmap anymore. The mid-20s crisis seems to suck more than the typical mid-life crisis. At least those ******* get to buy an overrated sports car. I can't even ******* imagine 30. What the hell am I gonna get my Masters in? Oh ****. I thought that five years = 2025. It's 2026. ************. Whatever, I don't give a ****. Christmas 2025 works. I'll just have to cram more doing things into my life. Was what I thought I had with Chetna Khandelwal a fluke? Please let me know, it's important (to me). Should I drink whiskey after this wraspberry too, or no? So many decisions. I am getting super bored with this last book of the Themis Files. It's so carelessly written that I just don't give a **** anymore. At least Taylor Swift's Evermore feels good to me. I wonder what those two bonus tracks sound like. We'll get to them soon. We're on "Cowboy Like Me" at the moment. I'm not sure what moment that is, exactly, but maybe you'll recall. I might spend Wednesday high as a kite with the dog in the house since the parents will be at work. Oh man, is the dog dead? That would be pretty sad. I've been feeding her so much lately. She loves it. It's funny how she hates the kibble but she'll eat it if you throw in a DQ Blizzard spoonful glob of wet food. I miss my T580. It's just sitting on some shelf at Memory Express NW Calgary right now. It's been there for ten days. That poor thing. I hope the faulty hard drive detection system wasn't because of anything I did. I doubt you're even using the T580 by now, but it'd be real sweet if you are/(were?). I can't believe that I'll die before seeing all the movies I want to see and reading all the books that I want to read. I'm curious, what was your favourite film of 2025? I just downloaded leaked screeners for Minari and Promising Young Woman earlier this evening, along with (finally), a rip of Tsui Hark's The Lovers (1994). Gonna check them all out real soon. Maybe I should write my own giallo. Wouldn't that be something? Christ, two weeks into 2021 already and I've accomplished nothing. Did Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin end satisfactorily? Episode 65 is out next week. Marley just declared war on Paradis and all that ****. I love Reiner Braun's character so much. Big relatable. Again, ****. Thirty. Deanna will be 23, Kendra will be 11. I don't even want to talk about how old our parents will be. They make it difficult enough to think about that. How old will Danny be? I think he was born in '77, so 48? It's a quarter past three and the wraspberry is done. I'm going to break a second one. I was feeling hungry before and I'm not now, so I must be doing something right. I can't have one more after this, though, because the last one in the quartet should be properly refrigerated. How long is this gosh darn time capsule going to be? Until I get bored of writing, I guess? We're already at 800 words. Oof, just cracked the second wraspberry and I already feel like I'm hitting a wall with the drinking... and the typing. Wouldn't it be funny if I failed the CPLED capstone despite putting myself through all of this torture since June? It cost like $6,400.00 too, ****. I'm so sad and lonely. We've reached that point of the letter, I guess. Did they ever record the entire series of Neil Gaiman's Sandman on Audible? I would love to listen to the entire thing. That was one of the only things that brought me joy and curiosity around the time that it came out. Apparently it was mid-July. That makes sense. Oh, here we go. We're at the Evermore bonus tracks. It's around 3:30 AM now. Will I take vyvanse when I wake up? I don't want to capitalize vyvanse and give it that power. It is not a planned vyvanse day, but I am in dire straits. Let's not and say we did. Dr. Kathryn Chevalier is so weird. What was your next phone after the Galaxy S20+? iPhone 14 Pro? 15 Pro? Whatever it is, I hope it's got at least a 64MP camera. That thing does wonders despite the image processing software ******* with standard resolution photos. We've broken 1000 words. Cool, I'm officially drunk and ******. I kinda miss Jasmin Singh. She'd know what I should do to make my life more tolerable. Ilhan just doesn't have the same vibe. This garbage Lenovo Miix 320 keeps cutting out on internet connection, so I think it's time to wrap things up. I can continue reading that writing book, satisfied that I wrote enough for Me today. Listen, 2025 David. You're doing great. You're surviving and ****. Everything is awful but you keep on trucking. I'm not sure whether it's out of fear of in-existence or a genuine desire to experience everything that Your life has to offer, but whatever, right? The bonus tracks were fine. Nothing to write home about. The album just ended so I'm sitting in silence for now. Cool! Godspeed. Don't die before 80.