A letter from January 9th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, hey ! writing to you from the pandemic. remember that? it ******* sucks! hope that its all way behind you now. right now im working at a&w, dating quin and living at 603 first ave. i'm depressed!!!! do you remember this time in your life fondly? are things better for you now? i hope they are. lately i've been feeling really emotional. the tiniest amount of joy or sadness makes me choke up. today i saw a kid playing street hockey by himself and when he got a goal it nearly had me tearing up. i heard a story about the joy of bringing a tomato plant through an airport & how so many people fawn over it. that made me cry. i don't really understand what its all about. i feel so lost in my life right now. its been hard to cope. i guess a lot of it is probably related to the world ending but even outside of that mental health has really been a struggle this year. this year i got a lot of joy out of riding my bike to the orchard and from spending summer days with quin and from doing acid and watching good movies and drawing in the backyard and from tidying up and showering with my bedroom lamp on in the bathroom and from giving people free coffee at work and letting them keep their coupons :) are you still alive? where do you live?? i don't have even an inkling of an idea what your life could possibly look like right now. are you still with quin? very impressive if you are. tell him i say hi! if you're not take a moment to appreciate that he really helped get us through the pandemic and he was the first boy who really treated us right! sorry if this made you sad but i hope if we're not together our relationship is at least a happy memory and not a sad one :) and if we are i hope we have a cat or a dog and we kiss all the time and are so happy and we travel together in an rv!!! and hey! tell arielle i say hi too :) i love her so much dont ever lose her please. i hope you have a vegetable garden and a rabbit and you pose nude for art students and you have your own little space in a studio so you can make drawings and sculptures and you have a cute apartment and you visited denton in florida and kissed him! and you have traveled and gone to lots of concerts and been to a club and have seized the day and learned to drive and you stretch every morning (important!) and wear clothes you like and you're healthy and mom and nan are alive and you call sarah and visit her on jane street (does she still live there?) and you have kissed a girl and you have tattoos and you're not self-centered and not afraid of connecting with people!!!!! and listen! if you havent achieved all of this stuff or any of it thats ok! im shooting pretty high tbh. these are just things that i've been thinking about! your values are probably totally different at 25! you're so old!!!!! what i really wish for you is that you are content in your life. that you go home to a place you like and you find your work fulfilling and that you've discovered things you feel passionate about. remember that truthfully you're still really young. you have time yet to figure everything out. remember to be kind to yourself! keep healthy habits, do things that you enjoy. be spontaneuous! saying yes to spur of the moment plans or saying **** it and doing that thing you're afraid to do is how you get to have the greatest times in your life. and please stay active and save some money! also please god if you havent travelled yet do it immediately!!! ok sorry for nagging you i love you so much!!! you are so incredibly strong and brave. if your life is hard right now i know you have the power to get through it!! everything is going to turn out just fine!!!! if you haven't done it yet go spend some time outside in the sun or look up at the moon for a while. she's the same one that i look up at now! thanks for reading dont forget to comment like subscribe and press that mf soup button