Stuff that's going on, its 2021 btw.

Dear FutureMe, Heyyy, it's been a while, 4 years right? yea, well, happy birthday!!! I'm sure this is ur 18th birthday so CONGRATS!!! This is 14 yr old you if you didn't know, yup the same you, just a lot dumber haha. Also, I'm writing while on my period at 6 in the morning while on a google meet with my crush while blasting music (, (so yea, under those circumstances, this is gonna be a pretty ****** letter-) So, I'll describe whats going on with me personally and then with everyone else and then PoLiTiCs and ill end with all my emotions or my future, who knows. Me: For me, well I still need to fix the pictures on the wall and put a border around it, so far I did red, I still have the rest of the rainbow lollll, I haven't watered my succulents yet (if u somehow forgot about them their names are Yams, Daichi, Oikawa, Tiga, and Suga) I still have to clean up my room too, but trust me, it's not as bad as it sounds, I just need to do a few things and everything would be set. IDK if my earing hole thing closed by the time I'm 18, but so far it's open and in use yea, it didn't get infected despite the fact that I used a thumbtack- aNyWaY Tati: Tati's dating some girl she's known FOR A DAY like-girl what's wrong with you, she sorta rushes into relationships and YK she once dated a guy from ACROSS THE COUNTRY like I cannot, like he was also 2 years older than her, obviously, I scared him away with my crush, Bernice. Future me and ria are the only people who know who my crush is yet, IDK if I actually like her tho like I like her but I wouldn't get into a relationship with her, especially since she says she's straight like we both wanted to be lawyers so we obviously want to go to the same college/live in the dorms. But IDK if I can cause she's actually smart and then there's me some random dumbass she knows. oh btw on Monday she and I were on a google meet for around 12 hours like omg- Angeli: she's a 7th grader lmaoooo but she's like a chaotic neutral and I love her energy, there's just a lot to unpack for her... sooo let's start with the obvious, she hasn't transitioned yet, she isn't even out to her parents yet, and I don't blame her, at least she's out to some of her siblings. Her dad's a fwacking biatch like he can suck my dck, like fwak him, he's so mean to her like he legit said "ur happiness doesn't matter" to her just cause she wanted to do something that she said would make her happy and he didn't want to. BTW ANGELI IS SUPER TALENTED LIKE SHE'S ONLY IN 7TH GRADE BUT SHE CAN PLAY LIKE 5 DIFFERENT INSTRUMENTS, LIKE SHES GOOOOOOD. at least she has a future (yes I'm sad now cause I don't have any talents or even hobbies so not only do I have nothing to do in my free time I also have no future * s i g h *) Bernice: she's just so nice to look at she loves books, Ebooks, she like instrumentals of music, and kinda like classical music. she reads about time travel and different timelines colliding and being transported into different realities, for her reading isn't really reading, it's more like living the book or the character, not like assuming the character's persona, but like feeling the characters pain and goes thru everything emotional the character does, it has its downsides cause she reads really sad books but....its an escape for her, her mom used to be really rude, like 6th grade was the worst year for her, her moms still eh, her mom's eh, like she finds a way to control Bernice without even talking to her and it's scary. her mom's done a lot of emotional damage lolll, but she barely even talks to her mom anymore. I've been trying to help her, she doesn't know yet cause I still need to gather all my research on OCD and Anxiety, I know she has anxiety, it's pretty obvious, but I'm having second thoughts about the OCD part the more I learn about OCD, IDK enough yet, but I'm doing research on Anxiety and then imma talk to her and ask if it's ok to try and help out. yep, there's that. anyway, enough about me and my friends, now what... oh yea politics, okay so these all controversial topics so there's that. Political Views/Beliefs: So far I'm a democrat cause climate change exists and we need to fix that don't let the polar bears die, don't let the ice caps melt, and LGBTQ+ rights need to be there, teachers should teach them in schools and we need to get rid of conversion therapy, it's literal torture. Frick the confederates, the kkk can suck my dck along with the proud boys. Yesterday a bunch of the orange sorry excuse of a president supporters took over the capital where the vice president was too, like the fwack. Toxic masculinity exists, men/boys/males need a safe space as well, they need to be able to voice their emotions just as well as girls/women/females can, men can get abused, they have emotions too. The difference between men and women in the workplace needs to lower, women need to get paid the same amount. IT'S NEVER THE VICTIMS FAULT IF THEY GET RAPED. I said victims because men can get raped too. Don't ask what the victims were wearing when it happened because a skirt or a crop top doesn't give anyone permission to touch you in ways you don't want. Emotions: I'm just meh rn, still angry at my bio teacher, like ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS ROUND MY GRADE UP BUY LESS THAN ONE PERCENT FOR ME TO HAVE ALL A'S BUT, NOOOOO, HE HAD TO GO AND BE A BIATCH. UGH. I also feel worthless or useless, IDK either one or both. like everyone around me is so talented, like Bernice is so smart and she can draw and write and she has hobbies and talents like have you heard her sing?? And Angeli can play so many instruments at such a young age and Angeli's voice is amazing too. And one of my other friends, Annika, her voice is amazing and she's so smart, and then Tati's just overall amazing and then there's me, I can't play a single instrument, I wanna play the drums but I don't wanna spend my parents' money for something I wanna try out and will probably drop after a while, I can't draw, and if I do, it's maybe 1/2 a year, I'm not academically smart at all, like sure I have all A's except one B but that's nothing special, I can't sing for ****, I can't even write anything without it being boring or horrible or idk I just. ugh. i- ugh IDK what's wrong with me tbh like I have amazing parents and a great friend group and I go to a good school and I live in a good neighborhood, yet I'm still nothing that's good enough for my expectations, I'm not good at anything for fqcks sake ugh. sorry for ending on such a sour note, u deserve more than venting from ur 14 yr old self, heh, why do I feel like even my future self would hate me or would be annoyed by me. IDK sorry anyway, I hope you had a good birthday, congrats on turning 18, I can't wait to see where I end up.