A letter from January 7th, 2021

Dear Future Me, This is Hannah. Perhaps you won't remember setting this up at 11PM on a Wednesday night, but I assure you that this is real. Are you happy. How's college? I don't remember ever having an idea or clouded dream of what it should be. Please take care of yourself. Mom and dad wont be there forever. I know you probably eat ramen a lot, but hold in their Mrs. Basically a sophomore/ junior. I dont know how the world works, but I have a feeling I will learn real quick. Is Beth alright? Are you dating anyone? That would be a miracle at this point. I actually quite like highschool at the moment, being a senior and all. I don't know what you will become, and I can hardly plan for you now. If you start to feel like something is wrong again, don't wait for it to go away- just go and see a psychologist. My biggest fear is looking back and cringing at what I am and mistakes I may make. You're almost 19- I think that's an accomplishment. Put down your phone more, you can come back and watch youtube anytime. Put yourself in the moment sometimes, do things for yourself, hang out with friends- take responsibility for your life. Keep a planner or something to keep track of everything you need to do, because you will be an adult and bills and such won't pay themselves. Keep up with art- and try to keep up with some friends. We have already been through so much change in life, with dad being in the military. This is just another move, another step. Perhaps you should see someone to see if you are just blocking out the trauma of the somewhat abrupt changes we have been through- for me. Perhaps try and stay somewhat fit and healthy, at least the best you can. If you have done some of these, just know that I am proud of you- and who we will be. Love, Hannah.