A letter from January 5th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hola Papi chulo I really don't know why that came to mind. So Hi, it's Jadey. And you're also Jadey. We are both Jadeys. I don't know what I want write for this, all I know is I will send it 5 years into the future. I wrote one a couple days ago for 6month down and one for a year down. Right now I'll write one for 5 years and hopefully If I remember I'll write one for 10 years soon. So I think I'll just write about feelings today and how things are, I would like for you to respond as much as you can to this, I like when you do that. So I just took quotiapin 100mg, my gp wants me to get back on even if its just for 6 months. I just turned off my russian keyboard on my phone bc my hands are really sweaty and keep changing the keyboard. I have an American friend and she went to bed a little over 30minutes ago.(its about 7:30pm) I told myself today whatever happened with her, happens. Like if I continue to talk to her or not. She is a very genuinely and generous person and I really appreciate her. If you have stopped talking to her why don't you send her a kind message. Tell her that she made the end of your 2020 a lot more bearable, and that you are actually very happy to have met her when you did by pure freak chance. Also Message Violet, tell her how much she has helped you, tell her she has helped you more than you can thank, and just having a ear to listen to you really changes everything. Tell her how much you love her for me. Where are you right now? I'm in my bed a little drowsy and very hot. I cleaned my room yesterday. Ive been playing games a bit. Lennox? I'm scared to ask and I can't comprehend thinking about him. Like if he has passed away or not. He will always be my baby no matter what. Tell me how he is, and tell me what's happened to him :) <4 I used the <4 i just feel like it has more feeling to it Yeah what career are you in or moving towards? I have no clue where you will be in 5 years time, I said the same thing in 2015 but I really mean it this time. Like have you moved out? Do you have nice friends? Do you like anyone? How is mum and dad? Tell me some more things about you, I'm very curious Any new languages? Can you say "go to sleep" in any language, if you said it in English youre built different. Very wonky. That was supposed to be funny, are you a kind person? Are you a good person? Do you still play games? Whats your favourite colour? Um I'm doing pretty decent. How does it feel to be 25? Or how did 24 treat you Oh god I just realised I'm 20. Woah. Describe 2021/22/23/24/25 In like individual sentences. Can you just tell me things? I wish you could actually talk to me Did you lose any weight? Kinda sucks if you didnt. Sorry. Whats something you love, now name 3 more things Something you wish you couldve told me about sooner? Maybe for the 10 year one ill just write poetry who knows or maybe ill write it another week when my mind can think of things different to say. Have you been able to travel recently? Any songs you like? I kinda like this song Emily showed me White Winter Hymnal, its very nostalgic What time did you go to bed last night? And how was your sleep? Do you have any nieces or nephews? Or like marriages in the family? Whats your thoughts on marriage, sorry this was random dknt work about that question lmao Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. What else? I dont want to ask this but do you have any regrets? Ill leave you on that. Jade, I love you a lot, I care for you a lot, I know your conflicts and trials. The small and the large. I am here, there are many people here. You have helped so many people more than you can imagine, and you will continue to do so. My sleep meds haven't put me to sleep and its because my heart has been beating fast ever since I thought about taking it and it just hasn't rested. I dont want to end this. This always happens. I don't want to end this i want to keep writing to give you something to read and hold on to I dont know why I find it hard to let things go. Jade, whatever you are holding onto take a minute and just let it go. Let. It. Go. I love you. Good night. Sweet dreams. Till next time.