A letter from January 4th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Holy ****. 2020. The worst year of my life. Not because of Covid-19 or anything else this year, it was because of the garbage person that I am. The beginning wasn’t bad. School was moved to online and I was fine. Then we moved into our new condo. That was pretty good. I wish we bought a bigger house, but I don’t care. Summer was relaxing, but I wish I spent more time outside with friends. Then school started. We had the option of going online or hybrid, we chose online, bad choice. From the first day of online school I was slacking. I was waking up late, taking my time to eat, playing games, and watching Youtube and anime instead of studying. At the time it wasn’t terrible, just a regular kid being lazy. But then my grades started turning into C’s and D’s. This is when a regular kid would step up and realize that I was still in school, even if I was doing it at home. I am not a regular kid. Because of my addiction of electronics, it made me lazy to the point where I would lie to my parents that I was doing work while I was watching. Quarter 2 ended and I had horrible grades. This is when the depression really started to sink in. I had stopped feeling and became a bag of meat with no emotions. The bad grades and the addiction was chipping away at my soul. Quarter 2 started. In quarter 2 I joined the highschool swim team. It was ridiculously hard. Not only because I was lazy, but it was a varsity sport and I was in a team with sophomores, juniors, and seniors. The only friend I had was Grant. I didn’t know him super well but he was still a good friend. We had practices from 5:30-7 in the morning and 3:30-6 in the evenings. It was insanely hard and tough, but I kinda liked it. It was pushing me physically and mentally and it was bettering me. But, don’t forget, I am the human equivalent of trash. Since it was taking up too much of my time and I didn’t have as much time to watch and play. My grades were still going down. I convinced my parents that it was because of swimming that I couldn’t focus on school, so after the first week, I dropped out. That might have been the 3rd worst decision of my life. I didn’t get some details, but this is most of them. Anyway, by the time this reaches me, I hope this is all better. I hope that I’m not the laziest person alive. I hope that I have motivation to live. Even if I don’t have any of those things, remember, it’s not never too late.