A letter from January 1st, 2021

Dear FutureMe, i'm sure alot of things might have happened by now and i hope that whatever happened are all good things. Its jan 1st, 2021 right now and i'm here back at home, in my room writing this to you. At this moment, i dont have any dreams or anything i'm possibly good at and it has been tiring trying to figure out our life. As you remember, our life wasnt that great and i'm sure the bad things that happened are far more than the good things that happened. so to my dear future self, i hope that by now you found a dream for yourself, i hope you know what to do with life, i hope you are stronger than me, and the most important thing, i hope you are happy. All your life, that means 22 years of your life i have never seen you be geniuenly happy, i have never seen your eyes sparkle when you eat sth you love, or i have never seen you doing sth you love. You have always been scared of what others might think of you, honestly you were scared of disappointing yourself and your family. Never seen you do a thing that makes you happy. So i take this chance to tell you that, its okayy to choose yourself. Its okayy to make mistakes, its okayy if things you wanted to work out doesnt work out. Its okay if you want to cry, its okay to say your opinion out loud. And if its not okayy, than its jst not the end. Just remember this, that if you dont love yourself or take care of yourself no one else will do. Its jst you and yourself at the end. so i hope that by the time this email gets to you, i hope you are happy. i hope the world you're living in is a better world than it is right now. I hope you havent tried sth reckless cause i know how hard it is to control your mental health. i hope you're still strong af cause baby you are a surviour!!! you have survived all the bad things that happened to you and you will survive it again!! i know by now your crying your *** out, with your nose blocked😂 but please dont!! i wrote this letter to you because i wanted you to say a proper goodbye to me (your past self), now i didnt write this letter to see you wipe your eyes out so please send me off with a smile on your face. Now if you're reading this kesang, that means you are still living out in the world and its a proud moment for me because i lived everyday with a thought that "i will live until tomorrow ends" so if you are reading this than i'm proud of you kesang! i'm proud of you for not taking your life! i'm proud of you because you have grown in to be a wonderful women regradless of how you spend your childhood. So since you survived a whole five years, treat yourself something good. Be it a food, or some sassy clothes or travel to places. You loved visting new places since you were a kid so travel alot okay? Look yourself in the mirror and pat yourself 'cause you did good! Now its time for me to go, and let me end this by saying sth "please dont disappoint me and live a happy life. Ever since i wrote this letter, i always lived to see you live a happy and a better life so even if it means that you havent lived a proper life, you can start from now darling💗" PLEASE BE HAPPY P.S: i hope your relation with mumy has turned out good. And if it still isnt good, than do sth about it. Dont leave it that wayy. Its your responsibility as a daughter to ******* change it so do it. I couldnt do it so i hope you will💗 and if you found someone, a great man who will accompany you to the end, congratulation🎉 love him and stay happy with him💗 lots of love from past!! goodluck darling!! Now send me off with a smile😊