A letter from January 1st, 2021

Dear FutureMe, Hehe sounds so funny saying future me Im using emojis and i dont even know if in 5 years there'll be emojis. I just want to start off saying dahm remember this year (2020) because it's been such an abnormal year, but just be grateful it wasn't like your past years and you were happy. Be grateful you didn't lose anyone, you had your bestfriend with you and that you were healthy because as you know you have it better then alot of people so never take anything for granted. Remember 6 yrs ago when you were depressed :/, dahm even just thinking of it makes me cry, even though you hate people who self diagnose themselves with illnesses you knew you had depression, everyday spending time crying over how **** your life was and hoping you'd be happy oneday, you were scared of laughing because your mindset was stuck on the fact there was no such thing as happiness for you. You self harmed, you were suicidal and your barely ate, and thats why you always prayed to Allah to help you, and Allah really sent help, i swear you never thought Allah would help you so heavily, but he did. And thats where your bestie Anisah comes in :) Anisah i hope your next to me right now in 5yrs reading this with me. Just remember Shafia how you see Anisah you see Anisah as the angel in disguise Allah sent in order to bring happiness and light into your life. You really believe that Anisah was the answer to all your prayers. It was like as soon as she came into your life everything just came into place, suddenly you just left all your sorrow and felt happiness. Always remember while everyone judged you, Anisah never did, when nobody believed in you Anisah did, when nobody loved you Anisah did, when nobody supported you Anisah did. You out of all people know how it feels to go through **** alone, how it feels to have noone that understands you, so always be grateful for your bestfriend. Like an example i think of all the time is the fact you and Anisah both love BTS and dream about getting BT21 stuff, regardless of the fact you had a Chimmy pop socket and the fact she doesnt own a BT21 product, she still chose to buy you a Chimmy headband and a Chimmy bracelet. She literally bought you something shes always wanted herself, she bought it for you before her own self. I hope you always appreciate your bestfriend like how you did then (now) she's really the best thing thats ever happend to you. you really dont know how you'd be without her, would you still be depressed and with your toxic *** friends? would you have even developed a personality, it's actually so scary thinking if we both hadn't met eachother, we both wouldn't be this happy. Ok now back to FUTURE ME because im getting carried away talking about my bestie. I'm really curious on how my future self is doing, i really hope your happy, your achieving your goals and on the road to success because you really deserve it. Your really do aim for the top and are perfectionist when it comes to your life goals, you have everything planned out, let me just lay it all out because i want to see if my future self has changed anything, so: 。You want to pass your A Levels 。You want to get into University 。Take your driving lessons, pass and buy a car 。Graduate 。To be honest i dont even know what job i want, Business, real estate agent? 。And i hope your single at 22. 。Your dream places to visit: South Korea, New york and India. I remember when i was younger i said i wanted to be a hairdresser because i had a big barbie doll and i used to do hairstyles on her, dahm i was such a girly girl from young your sisters and your playroom was pink and it was full of barbie dolls, moxie dolls and unicorns, i still remember playing in there with my sister and listening to songs with that little Sony phone that she said was hers you both used to climb the fence and jump into your next doors garden to steal her sweets you both were some ratchet kids, you both used to look for berries in the grass area and eat it without washing it and then came the time when you were being weird and swinging on the front door and waving goodbye to your sister while she was like 2million cm away from you, had her back to you, you swung so hard that you fell onto the concrete floor and broke your arm, dad shouted at me so bad for that made me feel like a criminal for breaking my arm. You also said you wanted to be a mosque teacher LOOOOL, what a joke considering your nowhere near holy i mean in sha allah your more closer to your religion but you really were like it's a easy job, you dont need school or anything. You told your dad and your dad told the whole world because he thought it was jokes. And then came the dream of being a lawyer, you've alwaysssss wanted to be a lawyer, that was the job you were certain on for like 7yrs until you just thought it's too much for you and you wont be able to keep up and now i want to do bussines or be a real estate agent, in 5 years i'm sure il know what i want to do right, well hopefully. I'm writing this letter to my future self because my dads always telling me about how i was younger and i dont remember most of it and i hate it. It makes me sad knowing that once upon a time i was like that but i dont remember, even the crack on my head i have a whole scar on my head but i have no idea how i got it. My dad says i was running after him up the stairs and i fell and cracked my head but my cousins all say different stories, but ofcourse i'm going to believe my dad LOL Maybe thats why im scared of stairs. i feel like i'm writing a birthday paragraph to myself right now. Im prpbably just waffling right now but i dont really care because my 22 yr old self can see how i am. 22YR OLD SHAFIA I REALLY HOPE YOUR PRETTY AND LOST ALL THE WEIGHT YOU WANTED, remember your ideal weight is 50kg ok. Ok now i been waiting for this moment hehe, BTS NOW. Ok so right now im inlove with 7 boys, especially 1 though and thats Jimin, you remember him right？i dont know if you still love him but always remember how much you loved him and how much he meant to you. Dont you dare think of him of just someone you liked in the past because remember he's such a pure person, he spreads positivity and made you laugh so much, so happy, always appreciate the fact Jimin existed and made you happy, I REALLY HOPE YOU STILL LOVE HIM. Another thing please tell me your still into the idea of going South Korea and exploring, you need to go to all of BTS hometowns, esp Busan. Introduce your kids to BTS thankyou. I'm really stuck on what to write to be honest, i feel like im on the spot but i know later i'm going to remember things to write that i should've wrote and get annoyed. 6 minutes till new years ffs, i dont know why im panicing. Seriously i hope in 5yrs i'm a better person, i hope i'm just a better person of myself. I hope i go into every New years with the people i love and thats my sister and Anisah :) Yes so shocking, i didnt know myself i'd be so close to my sister but i am and have been for i think 3 to 4yrs? i dont know really, i mean we still annoy eachother but she's still one of my besties LOOL, i can tell her anything and shes someone i want to keep close forever, i find myself lucky that i have a sister that im close with, so i hope in 5yrs your still close. ANYWAYS GOT TO WRAP THIS UP NOW 1MINUTE LEFT TILL NEW YEARS SO BYEBYE. This was shambles but this is me :）so bye now, i got to go watch the fireworks. Lol your aunties are sending you happy new year pictures from google, i wonder if you'l even have their number in 5yrs. lemme jus say a funny joke hehe, even thought everyone says it every yr, it makes me laugh thinking people actually find it funny and clever, I HAVENT SHOWERED SINCE LAST YEAR LOOL