A letter from December 31st, 2020

Dear Future Eane, Hellooo!! Good morning. How are you today? Wow, last day of the year! Look at you! You made it! I am so so so proud of you. Any plans today? What are you going to eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner? Are the people who you met last year still in your life today? Do they bring you joy? Are you still playing Sky? Are you happy? Have you achieved anything this year? Any changes? What did you do this entire month? Were you busy? Well, I'm not exactly in good shape today. The weather do be a little bit cloudy. Been crying since early part of the month. We have a meeting next week with the 3002 module leader and program directors, not sure what about but I might have an idea. And it's not exactly a good one. Who knows maybe you'll laugh back at this one. I swear, tiktok and everything is so triggering right now. I always feel extra lonely during holidays. Especially Christmas and New Year. I am sitting on the couch in the living room, typing this. Mom is behind us making lechon kawali. I don't think we have any plans today. I lowkey think we have like anxiety. I don't get the idea of people telling me "it's going to be ok, you'll be okay" "Don't worry, you don't know about it yet so relax" But the overthinking in us eats me up inside. Also, we have 2 periods this month, so when I saw that email, we were bleeding + emotions & hormones all over the place mixed with crying and loneliness. I hate talking to people about this because it doesn't seem to work and it looks like I'm wasting their time. They can do their best to cheer us up but it's all in us to take it, believe it and apply it. By the way, you turn 23 this year right? Wow, we are getting olddddddddddd. HAHAHAHA Any plans on career? Which hospital? Have you gotten a bond? How's mom and dad? Are they okay? It's 1056am now. Streetcar by Daniel Caesar is being played. I really hope this year turned out different. Alot alot alot different and better. "The good lord gives, the good lord taketh away" See you! Future me xo