A letter from December 30th, 2020

hi happy birthday khansa zehra orang keren! 😎😎 remember me? your 14yo version hahaha and here’s your birthday present from khansa kecil. aka kadonya curhat curhat cantik😛 here i am on a barely last day in 2020 wichisss thursday 31 december 2020 01:16am just me chewing my gum, craving some ciggs, laying on my bed, alone (not rlly tho, there’s mom sleeping and sis still on her phone), in my room with my favorite blue robbers light ahaha you know what congratulations for staying this far bestie😚 im shoo prooouddd of youuu i’ll always love you whatever you’ve become, whatever you are, no matter what decisions that you’ve made for your life, i know youre an amazing person ***** if you were sad/lost your motivation lately, you need to remember you got that dump truck sis, youre the baddest ***** ever and a LOTT of people jealous of you, dont you act like a ***** okay? but if you were feeling happy, as you should hoee, good for you thenn🤩 oh yeah almost forgot, dont you ever dare to give a single **** to what other people think about you. im gonna ask you a few questions! u have to aswer it hoe, istg if you dont ill sue you. hows life?? must’ve be exciting right!! are you happyy? hows your birthday? was it funn? have you meet your *ukhm* person yet? HAHA guess you already have your glow up donee😌 lemme know whos your bestie rn!! btw, if there’s a lame person who bothers your life, ya need to cut that toxic people away sis ugh you dont need em anyway tho have you tried ciggs? is it good? or are you addicted rn?🧍🏻‍♀️ bet you’ve got soooo many lessons than you’ve alr got in 2020 righhtt? ANYWAYY, HAVE YOU EAATT? YOU BETTER NOT STARVE YOURSELF THO 🤬 okay last question, what is the best memory you’ve made this far? girl i hope our teenage years was worth it, ion wanna spend my teenage years just by laying on my bed and always on my phone💀 umm soo yea im here mau curhat, 2020 mau berakhir, and yesh, feels like i already know a bit about myself and knows a bit about who am i becoming later??? idk ill found out kinda feel blue tahun ini, i’ve spent my time a lottt with complicated sadness, unspoken feelings, anger and misery, debating with myself, tryna learn to understand myself and other people’s too but i kinda learned how to survive on a society??? buttt theres a lott of things i couldn’t repeat i guesss but **** i need to runaway from this town asap.. i did a lot of embarrassing stuff in this town and i hate it here cuz i did all of that stuff on my krisis jati diri phase 💀💀 and hell yeah being a fashun icon is my thing😎😎 and i’ll gonna rock a lott of fits, and become a supermodel i guesss? AHAH HA thinking about posting photos of me and some fire outfits on my instagram and being an insta baddie anndd i want some modeling agencies notices me?? also esrned some money from my insta feeds and just running away from this town???? it sounds fun ah😛 abdnabdh sebenernya gatau mau curhat apa tapi gue sekarang bisa liat mindset orang2 dan cara nyikapinnya dongg😎 BTW AHAHA GUA JADI OWNER MENFESS SLANGGG 😎😎 gatau si kayanya kalo ketauan itu ownernya gua, adminnya nailer sama jody, bakal kena masalah gasi??? bakal dilabrak mampus si kalo ketauan💀💀 dan gua di menfessin dongg bilangnya pantat gua nungging kalo jalan, eww najis yang menfessin otak pantat🤢 oke gapenting bingit yah gais, tapi gapapa aku gabut, kayanya gue gajadi curhat deh, kita hibah aja WOY WKWKWK LU JANGAN KEMAKAN FAKBOI LAGI YA HAHXHAHS pasti fakboi di lingkungan sma level kakap semua ya?? pasti banyak yang mau pacaran gara2 taruhan di tongkrongan eww, trus banyak juga kan yang ngajak pacaran buat ewita doang? yagasi huahsha lu gapernah diajak ngeroom kan ajg?💀💀 ih najis bgt da awal taun 2020 gua masi polos bangett mau aja diajak pacaran fakboi yang baru kenalan 3 hari?? dan ternyata gua dijadiin selingkuhan dong anjingg dia udah ada pacar di bandung pas gua ditembak sama dia, eewww wtff💀💀 ga lagi2 deh ajg, pengen bgt pindah dari tangsel kalo inget😐 ih gua katro banget plss jujuuur gua akuin gue kek bener2 katro & tengil banget dari tahun 2016-2020, 4 TAHUN MASA KRISIS JATI DIRI GUEE BYEE JIJI BANGET, untung sekarang mendingan gasih yey ih cepet bangeet udah mau 2021 gais pokonya #2021betterkhansa #2021khansabaddie ahay hmm mau ke nyc dehh i kinda want a boyfriend??? but kinda doesn’t need it anywayy?? woy mau belajar naik motor biar bisa brem brem sendiri kalo lagi bete omg gais gue bersyukur banget punya temen kaya naila, punya mama kaya bunda, punya papa kaya ayah, punya bestie kaya adeeek, love banget sama mereka, kalo gaada mereka kayanya gue masi stuck di bad version of myself? :( sayaaang banget sama mereka jujur gue gamau kehilangan mereka hmm orang2 itu temporary ya.. bisa dateng & pergi, yang stay forever cuma gue sendiri andd khansa, you need to appreciate everything on your life, bcs things not gonna be the same every year rightt?? and be kinnddd! being a baddie doesn’t mean youre mannerless righht? and you have to love yourself whatever what happened, try dont lose yourself okayy? andd remember, everything that you did, it’ll built who you are.. youre free, you cut off your toxic friends away, you know who you are, you escaped your pain and your past trauma, youre happy now, youre amazing, now you gonna start a new journey on 2021, pop offf queenn! so yeah itu sesi curhat nya HAHAHAHA noting special tho ahaha, khansa gede jangan malu ya bacanya 😌 goodd i wonder what i will react to this ahahaha see youuu!!!💗💗