A letter from December 29th, 2020

Dear FutureSchmuck, Hello old friend! First off, I just got this letter that I must've written and sent to myself eight years ago today (today being the 29th of December in 2020) through this website that I've long forgotten about. Since I was eleven at the time, saying that the grammar and coherency of my letter were subpar would be an understatement. Reading it was less nostalgic as much as it was cringeworthy. In case you've (hopefully) forgotten about this letter, here's a transcript of the letter I wrote that by your clock is now almost exactly 14 years old. Since I had to read this, now you do too: Dear FutureMe, How are you i am good, i hope you are really doing good in school and trying hard to make it in to USC. Hope you marry your crush, you know who THAT is right. Here is a link to catch up with everyone. *elisem001@gmail.com annatonyapuppy@gmail.com skylaclubrules@gmail.com superrobertman@gmail.com coolmathman300@gmail.com So hopefully this will refresh your memory I hope you have a good life. **Please don't be living in your parents basement. Well I hope You marry your crush. I know how much you love her. Well this is it Bye, Ben *At this present time, I'm still friends with three out of the five people whose email addresses I listed. **I'm glad to say that in 2020, I'm not living in my parent's basement. I can't say the same for their attic. If this letter reads as terrible to me now, there's no telling how horribly it will age in the years to come. Though, I figured that I owe it to myself to write my future self a proper and more *ahem* quality letter, as I was kinda disappointed by the letter I received from 2012. I'm sending this letter to you five years in the future, which I think is pretty reasonably far in the future (after all, the letter that I sent to myself eight years ago was received normally). First off, I just hope to god that the word "Coronavirus" isn't still relevant in 2025. As I'm writing this letter in the comfort of my (parents') home in 2020, the COVID-19 pandemic is in full swing after about nine months of hellish periodic quarantining and having to wear face masks at all times in public. After this is all over, I hope that I never have to wear a face mask in public (not that I'm one of those anti-face maskers that are quite literally testing god with their stubbornness). I hope by now that the vaccine was made widely available to all and that the pandemic is long over. I don't know what'll happen to me if this pandemic continues on for another year, let alone five. By this time, you'll have been out of college for about two and a half years. Just the prospect of that makes me so anxious. I'll try not to set my expectations too high in this letter, as I feel like if I overshoot myself then I'll make you feel too depressed, so I'll try to keep it brief. I only hope that you're in a good place and that you're enjoying the work that you're doing wherever you are. I hope that you can find yourself a reasonably paying job in the film industry and that you can still find time to write scripts/plays/novels/anything creative. I also have to know if those plans we made to hopefully one day move to the Czech Republic with Isabelle and live out our "main character" lifestyles ever panned out. As cool as that would be, I don't know if that would be the best idea expense-wise. I don't even speak any Czech, apart from the tidbits I've picked up from Duolingo in the past month or so. Speaking of Isabelle, I do hope that you're still in contact with her and that you've maintained your friendship with her. I do understand though if you've drifted apart from her in the time in between me writing and receiving this letter, but I hope that you're at least on good terms with her. If not, you could probably get away with using this letter as an excuse to reach out to her. I'm sure she'll get a kick out of reading this letter (think back to when we all wrote our future selves those letters at the senior retreat way back in 2018). I'm so curious to know if she ever has kids since she maintains her stance that she will never under any circumstances have them (she does want to be a grandmother though). People also worth reaching out to, as they all make my life so much easier are Charlotte, Kellum, Joanna (from Finland), Katthew, Zoe, and Angelina. Additionally, reach out to Professor Harwell as well. I'm sure he'd be *impressed* with the level of writing in this letter to myself if you decide to show this to him. I also hope that you've made a lot of new friends along the way and that you have a healthy relationship with all of them. At the time of my writing of this letter, I'm not in a very good place mentally truth to be told. It's been harder and harder to continue going to college and being a student there with all the pretty terrible things that have happened to me there so far (I know I don't have to describe specific details). I just hope that you managed to stick it out and get through all the difficult times because honestly, the thought of being a student at my college for two and a half more years makes me feel sick. It's a hard knock life out there for sure and an even harder knock life for someone who wants to get anywhere without a degree in this present day and age. Currently, I'm on winter break from my college (extended due to the pandemic, of course). I'm trying to keep myself creatively occupied by writing as much as I can and trying to develop ideas for potential film projects. One such project I'm working on right now is actually a partial remake of a film that I made three years ago (eight years ago by your clock). Only the film that I made three years ago turned out to be utterly terrible in hindsight and is definitely something I don't like to think about (word of advice: don't attempt to make a feature film when you're sixteen). This is exactly why I'm trying to rectify my past mistakes by remaking the film into a better version with the knowledge that I've gained from film school thus far. I'm actually procrastinating on finishing the script by writing this letter. I hope that this version of the film is much better than the film I made three years ago. It would be funny though if in three years I, in turn, hate the film I'm about to make. Again, I really hope that you're in a good place. The thought of being 24 is honestly mind-boggling. I hope that you've learned from all the mistakes that you're bound to make and that you've learned something from your past (my future). I hope that by now, you have a loving partner (or at least had, it's better to have loved and lost after all) and that you've surrounded yourself with people that genuinely care about you. Above all else, I hope you've found a sense of happiness in life. If not, then just remember (in the wise words of the best musical I've never seen, Avenue Q) that everything, both good and bad, is only for now. That's definitely a philosophy that I myself desperately need to embrace. This also goes without saying but I hope that you still keep in touch with Mom and Dad. I know you had a hard time keeping in touch with them in college, mostly due to the fear of them finding out just how depressed you were. But just remember that they support you so much and you most likely wouldn't be anywhere in life without them. In the words of my eleven-year-old self, "well this is it". I know I could probably keep writing for another 1000 words, but it's 3:30 am and I should probably be getting to bed soon. I hope you've enjoyed reading this letter and that it was pleasantly nostalgic for you (and not cringe-worthy like the letter from 2012). I wish all the best for you and I hope that you can find a peaceful existence through all the ups and downs of life. From your best friend, Your 19-year-old self One more thing: I do hope you still regularly check this email because I've spent about an hour or so crafting this letter and it would be such a shame if my effort went to waste.