A letter from December 26th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, It has been about 5 years , into the future. This year is gonna make it 10 years since your mom died. which is about the same amount of time that you dad his passed away. you would be married for about 6 years and 3 months and hopefully would have a kid or 2 by now. i wonder how much life has changed. are you in Trinidad or are you tobago ? do you still work in the bank ? has your positioned changed? are you still happily married ? do you have a house? apartments ? tenants ? you still in close contact with the guys from central? are you still even alive and I am writing this and sending it out into the void? so much can happen and change. life is dynamic , I know that and I guess you would know that to. i feel like 5 years is quite a bit of time, you probably would experience some loss along the way . i hope it not to bad , I hope you still have support . more and more I think I worry about the future. right now I am 34 I'm in good health and life seems so full of possibilities right now, possibilities and pitfalls.I have to admit, I am a bit scared, scared of dying, its not something I thought about when i was younger i admit, life was about having fun and enjoy the ride . but more and more as i experience more as i take on more life slowly began to open up and it terrifies me. not to be able to experience certain things . i worry about if i am a good husband ,if i will be a good father for my kids. if i would get to have kids. its pretty heavy reading for Christmas night. i wonder what i would be doing years from now. right now i am going to bed in a bit . your wife, my wife is already asleep, probably upset i came outside to do this. it felt like something i needed to do tho. This time of year always gets me a bit introspective about the past. and i wonder about the future. Anyway i feel this is a bit long as it is and i am a bit tired. Its been fun chatting , i hope i get to read this in 5 years and all the concerns i have had long since been resolved. Love you dude. hope all is well with you and everyone.