A letter from December 25th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I pray that you are in a super better headspace than you are now honey. I pray that by now your happiness has come back halfway at least and you have a nice job and a nice living situation , I hope that you've learned to love yourself a lot more than you do and try to do as well. I Hope that you and was are still together because that love you have for that boy now I know it could only be a lot stronger now. Learn to love yourself again Tia and learn that you cant control things sometimes. Continue to pray for your well being and your sanity because without it you'll lose yourself and trust me you don't want that again Today is Christmas for me and a day that means family but no matter where I go I haven't felt apart of any family but just remember that no matter what you will always have yourself and sometimes that's the absolute best decision.Hopefully by that time you have your own family and that holidays are a lot better for. you that they are me, But even if not I just hope that you are most def a ton of a lot happier than I am right not and I know that you bottle everything up and tend to keep to yourself but you have nas in your life for a reason don't shut him out because god gave you somebody that loves the good and bad in you who loves you for you and hopefully you can see that I know sometimes its hard because you think he just wants you to just snap your fingers and just be okay but I know he means no harm in anything he does, so do me a Favor and just hold on a little longer when you hug him , hold on a little longer when Mema hugs you , hold on a little longer when mommy hugs you because that's all you have left and they love you to the moon and back girl trust me. Love yourself forever and remember your path is not everybody's.