A letter from December 25th, 2020

dear K, i hope you're doing well! i'm writing this on christmas eve, 2020. this has been... a crazy year. i fell in love, out of (?), relapsed into some of my worst mental health habits, gained ten pounds, lost them again because of anxiety, deleted twitter, came out to your friends, and also got to be home with them! so like. a lot of ups and downs. and the obvious Pandemic. i hope you're happy, wherever you are. holidays are always weird... i feel a little (a lot) alone. they maybe have gotten more disappointing with family, but others are busy so then i feel, hopefully falsely, that i have no friends. i guess those feelings of insecurity never go away though, so don't stress if it's still like that. philosophy advice from someone who is ..... young and you're probably laughing at rn oh god this sounds cheesy. let me stop. i just want to say, you've been through a lot this year, and maybe you go through more in coming years, feeling like this is nothing. but for now, remember this moment. a peaceful christmas eve where i'm feeling so neutral – a little alone, but happy. you're probably SO different right now – would i hate you? admire you? and ur probably cringing reading this, but it's more for me right now in 2020 to get this out, rather than for you. i'm not even proofreading this and i don't think it makes sense but just wanted to say... regardless, know that everything passes. know that i love you anyways. take care, enjoy this early christmas present <3