A letter from December 22nd, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I have no clue how to even begin this letter even though I've written about 3 of them in the past. lets start off with asking the question we all want to know, is covid still around? masks? Quarantine? I hope to god the world doesn't end before you get this. moving on, lets update you. no boyfriend, no girlfriend. you're kinda talking to this boy right now but you have a feeling he's not the one (pm), idk maybe you'll get married. you're currently on winter break after your first semester of college, and I know you processed it as a major failure, even though you ended with a's and b's. you struggled a lot mentally this year, as the same with the last few years. you beat your self up over things you thought were catastrophic when in reality, it was just a minor setback. but your feelings were still valid. whomever else may read this, and might be struggling mentally, physically, academically, etc, just know I am proud of you and everything you have accomplished this year. you've got this. anyways, (trigger warning: suicide) I thought a lot about ending it all, sometimes I still do. hopefully you got some help with that. you recently opened up about that to your friends and mother and they have been a great support system. you're forever grateful. im proud of you for staying and pushing through. speaking from being at one of your lowest points, you've got this. so whatever you may be going through in this moment, as you're reading this, remember that. I hope you found self love, and developed good communication skills. I hope you are working through your anxiety, especially the social and driving. ****** is still alive, same with tata and hossabear, harbear, and tigtig. hopefully they still are when you get this. update me on your life. I really hope you're ok. I love you. and im sorry that I don't really act like I do sometimes.