A letter from December 21st, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I'm 20 yrs old writing this, sending it to you when you should be 24 almost 25. What have you learned? I'm living in a one bedroom right now waking up baking and working out. I think the biggest accomplishment we have so far is just this. I am 20 years old, 6 hours away from family, with no close friends. I am building and maintaining relationships that I hope will not fall out, but they typically do. Rhoda and Jasmine are my friends and I hope you still keep in contact with them. Im working out 7 days a week because of my levels of anxiety. I get so anxious and caught up that it makes me feel alone. I feel like no no truly desires me. Men are last of my focus, I cant picture kids or a wedding at all in my lifetime. I hope there comes a time when youre not scared to trust a man, that you dont push away love. I hope you feel loved and you do love. I'm scared of love and I'm scared to love honestly. I want to train professional athletes. I want my own gym. I want my name to carry weight. I want to buy my mom a house. I want to buy my dad a boat. Things only go up. Where you at right now? Chipotle? I cant wait to read this, I feel like I'll remember and literally be 24/25 waiting for it to hit my email. Maybe all the smoking will rlly fk up ur memory... ahhhhhhh... lmao. Youre a bad ***** bro I think the only way you could dispoint me is if you lost ambition. Keep pushing. Everything i'm working towards is for you dawg. I wanna set you up, I'm trynna pull 10 pulls ups im at 2 rn. I'm trynna bench a plate and squat 2. Just know time flies and we gotta keep it movin.