A letter from December 6th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I'm alone in my room right now. I can hear mom and dad talking upstairs, and I know they'll come down here soon. When you read this, memories like this one will probably pop up, but lemme tell you, it fking SUCKS right now. Now you're probably thinking about how silly this teenage me was, but it really does. So much school stuff, so much--EVERYTHING. It's probably weird that I'm calling an older version of myself "you", but by the time I'm your age, I'm hoping to be an entirely different person. Just... HAPPY! exhilarated!! By the time you're reading this, you'll be 19, almost in your almost third year of college--unless I skip another grade, but I suppose that's up to the future me. It's so strange to think that you will be the age I'm counting days towards. By now, you'll have gone on the world trip! How was it? Did you take anyone? Did you see the Aurora Borealis? Borneo? Paris? S. Korea? Russia? Antarctica? South Africa? God--NEVER forget that summer. I've spent 5 years counting days on a chart on the wall for those 3 months of travel. Right now I'm only 1274 days away (aka forever away). Anyway, you're also in university!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy CRAP, I'm excited for the future me (lol). hm... did you decide on University of Washington? Yale (PLZ)? Harvard (2x PLZ)? UPenn? Maybe even somewhere I've never considered... but what about all the Harvard posters? Do you stay up until 5 AM every Friday because you can? Do you eat whatever the hell you want? Do you still write? Maybe started up climbing or ice skating again? Please tell me you've finally managed to make a close friend. Or two. I wish I could put in a picture! I just redid the Custer bedroom! I bought some posters and things. Listen to "Lose you too" SHY Martin, and "A Million Days" Sabai. So, what's going on right now? Well, in case the older me is wondering, I've been doing homework for about 5 hours straight and am now taking a break :) Then I finished a book (Flowers for Algernon), which was actually pretty decent. It felt super long, but the ending was heartbreaking. Now I'm going to go back to cheesy worse-Twilight-like books. I just started Hush Hush. It's okay, but you'd think the author could make the main guy character more mysterious. Like, the girl keeps thinking he's mysterious... yet he is just a straight-out liar and thinks of her as an object. It makes no sense, yet I can't stop reading it. I guess you know that. Oh! you probably read those books I put on the list that I'm not allowed to read now. Do you still think they're good? Oh, and another question... Do you still know Anthony? Brandon? Johnathon? Juan? At least one of them, common. Probably Anthony or Juan out of all of them. Brandon's getting on my nerves so probably not him. Do you still play League? I paid so much money on it, tho! You can't just stop... then again, you should, or you'll pay more money. I know I'm asking so many questions that I'll never get the answer to, but I'm living vicariously. How many languages do you know!? Fluent in Korean yet? Maybe Russian too... French? MAYBE Japanese? Ugh, and I guess in Spanish since the whole 'school requirement' thing. How're the classes? You better be taking some interesting things. Remember that this is the prime of your life. THESE are the 4-8 years you've been waiting for as long as I can remember. Philosophy, probably... psychology, some sort of science... writing?... a language, economics, math... I can't describe my--EXHILARATION for you. Ok, I have to request something. Well, three things. a) watch Gifted for me b) send a letter to the 'you' of the future. Maybe 5 years? c) tell Mom and Dad that you love them (they're annoying af rn, but they're getting older) I'm so proud of who you are. I know I'm saying I'm proud of myself, but... it's different. You... I just know you'll be great in life. Haha, right now I'm imagining the first day of college, it was probably amazing! I hope you had fun, the time of your life. Or the moment you reached Antarctica for the first time, as the boat hit the ice. (write a book bout it?) PLEASE have fun, PLEASE love life, PLEASE be amazing! Do it for me. Do it for you. And do it for the person that you will write a letter to. I'm actually tearing up, haha. I don't know how to end this. I have so many things I want to say, and yet, I'm running out of words. Good luck :D