A letter from December 2nd, 2020

ok, gurl 22, ha? well, 2020 isnt so good, not ever at all, but i hope that now ure good. 22? college? i hope so. boyfriend? god, no :)) are you still emotionally unstable? do you still cry every day? Do you still feel that no one is really listening to you? it's ok, I know how you feel. or you felt. it is hard, the heart is broken, the soul is empty, but an infinite chaos. problems, changes, fear, everything. but I hope that the adult bianca is stronger than the adolescent bianca, she was not too strong. but in the end he didn't commit suicide, right? it would be embarrassing if no one would receive that again, if you understand what I'm saying :)) I hope you still pour your pain into words on paper, I hope you have a soul as deep, but don't forget to see reality the same way you do at 17, okay? Your anchor? are you still keep her close and if she's not with you anymore, look for her! now, gurl! it is your portal to an ocean of liberation and love. yeah, daiana. I know it's suffocating, honey ... sometimes you want to scream like a dragon, or you just whisper your suffering, hoping they'll hear you at least now. you want to tell them in front of you how much they hurt you with the fact that they don't see, or don't want to do it, when you dive into a fog that seems to have no end. adolescence, right? the past, right? so be you and you, but love your family just as much. and they were there, in one way or another. I wonder if you are aunt again :))) miță now? i hope so, actually. but if you're a mom? yes, cat, logical. forgive him, darling, but don't forget. it's all about you the most. u are him and him it's not that bad, just sick. and you have problems too. a lot, believe me. you are a problem for yourself. you are toxic. but that's what defines you, that's how you grew up, that's how you are, gurl. a chaos mind. love mama and all your brothers and sisters, call grandma sometimes, and, yeah, dad. i hope with all my heart that you will weep with joy and pride and sadness when you read this. because you'll be better and that's great. i really hope... and if it's not like this...it's ok, gurl, it would be, u got this. ly or not but who cares? we will die. Uhh, yeah, take care, freak...