A letter from November 21st, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Its nov 21 im currently in the back of gmas car while we are going thru the dinosaur drive thru thing. I didnt want to come today because "Its dinosaurs like literally how is that something i would want to see" but now as im sitting here (almost in tears) looking at all these happy people in their cars loving looking at the dinosaurs. Why cant i be as happy as they look? Literally why cant i ever be happy. Maybe its cause of the pandemic and quarantine but now that i think about it i cant remember the last time i was actually happy. Everyday i wake up and go to carols and pretend everythings fine like im not having a mental breakdown everyday. I hate the drive home cause i hate being home now. I dont even like doing my nails anymore no matter how hard i try to get inpired to do them i just cant. What the **** is wrong with me?? I hate being me i wish i could just die and reincarnate as someone better looking, smarter, and talented. I literally have no talents like wtf. Anyways if things dont get any better idk whats gonna happen or what ill do. Hope you are doing better than i am peace out