A letter from November 19th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Dear Maria Wow! Yesterday you got a letter that you wrote three years ago and how touching that was. You mentioned a lot of things. You had just quit your job at the family company (and you used the word “quitted” which don’t exist but it was an honest mistake) and started a new one at the law office. You were very determined to come live in the US and guess what? You did it! You are writing this one right now at your bed, in your current host family house and you are literally thinking of everything you achieved so far. You did became an au pair. It’s been almost two years now and WHAT THE ****. Sometimes it hits you like a brick wall that you are here. So many things you lived, a lot of people that you met but only a few sticked to it. So many different things you tried. So many memories you are creating. You mentioned that being here was going to mean that you were going to suffer, because of João. Well, it’s been almost two years and you miss him more than ever. He’s still the most wonderful kid in the world, but he’s growing and you could not be more proud of the person he’s turning into to. He’s smart, funny and kind. And you love him more than anything in the world. You also said something about still wanting a good relationship with your mom and you can check that off the list too. She’s one of your best friends, you now can understand how difficult you were with her. She is always looking after you, always with your best in her mind. You miss her. You also miss your stepdad and all the amazing food he makes. Your grandma is great and you miss her tremendously. She is your second mom and thinking of the last time you hugged her before you came here makes you cry still. You mentioned about your body, and if I’m not mistaken you used the word “muscled up” which is funny. Well, you worked out for a little bit, you started eating better for a little bit but then you got tired of cooking every week, and all the body pains and you just gave up. Not permanently I hope. You are okay with your body though. Not 100% and I don’t believe you’ll ever be, even if you get the perfect body. No one will. You’re still a virgin. It bothers you but not as much as it used to. You’re afraid of doing it and that’s okay. One day it will happen and you’re gonna be fine. You said you were hoping to be in New York or California or Georgia or Ohio. Well, you’re in Pennsylvania, in Elkins Park, taking care of two kids, Madeline and Hunter. Even though they annoy the **** out of you most of the time, you love them deeply and you’ll never forget the time you spend here. Jenn, the host mom, is an angel in your life. You had your moments but she was definitely your best friend for a good year. She’s understanding, loving, caring, she listens to you and you have a great relationship with each other. Dave, the host das, well.......... he is an ******* but he has some good moments. You made some friends here. Not a lot but you were never a lot of friends type of girl. Ananda is the one that sticked. Also Paloma and Erica. We’re currently planning to live together after this whole thing is over, and we want to have cats. You traveled a little, sometimes by yourself and it was amazing. You ate a lot of food and you spent waaaaay too much money, but that’s not news. You’re collecting snow globes and magnets. You have approximately 45 funko pops and you love them. Lot of money there. You have a vinyl player. You bought a laptop, a videogame, a camera. You love candles. You love target. You love sneakers (specially adidas campus). You have so much makeup. You went zip lining and you are planning on skydiving. You visited so far: Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Washington DC, Florida, Minnesota and Ohio. Also London and Paris. **** ME!!! You improved your English by a 1000000% and you get so happy and proud when people compliment you. You still read a lot. That is a problem because you don’t like digital reading so you have to buy the book and not only the physical book but a hardcover and you have a lot of them already. Your year as an Au Pair ends in February, three months from now. You are so not ready to go back to Brazil yet. You applied for a status change and are hoping to find a nice family to live in on the west coast. You are in the middle of a pandemic. Corona virus/ Covid, is a very serious disease going on in the world for a year now. Too many people died. It’s horrible. We went on lockdown for three months and you almost lost your ****. Things started to get better for a little but now the cases are rising up again and we are probably going into a new quarantine. Even though things are a *little* better, it’s been 08 months of this. Wearing masks everywhere we go, hand sanitizer going off the shelves and social distancing. Ugh, I hope this situation is better. This is longer than it was supposed to. I just want to finish off by saying that you are going to be fine. No matter what or where. I hope you find peace and someone to love who loves you back. I hope you’re happy and healthy. Hope you don’t find many grammar mistakes here. Stay cool kid.