A letter from November 17th, 2020

Dear Future Junior, I woke up from my cage, the *** socks littering my room. I flopped on my Rolex pure gold hoverboard and rammed to the other side of my room, slamming myself into the wall and flopping over. I then proceeded to find my phone on the floor, right next to the dead mouse where I left it. I turn it on, and almost came after I saw my wallpaper of Zero-Two hentai. After 45 hours of staring at my wallpaper, I decided it was time to open reddit. After scrolling past the 13464 posts from all the hentai and furry porn subreddits I joined, I found one post from r/teenagers. Then I saw something. My heart stopped, my draw dropped to the floor in utter aw, my pupils expanded. Was this... a girl? I squinted my eyes, as my vision was the worst in the entire world. The second I saw what seemed to be long hair, I gasped and jumped around my room excitedly, getting my yearly exercise for the year. After RKOing myself back onto the floor, I still couldn't believe my eyes. It was a GIRL? USING REDIDT? I got a massive erection that immediately lifted my off the ground. With my phone still in hand, I proceeded to give the Ternion All-Powerful award until I maxed out my credit card. I then proceeded to create alt accounts and upvoting until google sent a cop to my address to see if I was hiding immigrants in my basement. "Stupid cops, Immigrants are illegal, only my child slave workers are down there". I told them. They said "Oh, carry on then" and left my house. Getting back to my phone I saw that the girl had dm'd me saying "thanks for the award I guess" I instantly came all over my room, the force of my *** shoving me around my house with extreme force, and when it stopped all my bones were broken and I wouldn't be able to *** for another 10 years. "Worth it, wholesome 100" I said to myself.