A letter from November 15th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hi Kathleen, how're you? I hope you're good, like really good. Guess what playlist I'm listening to right now? Yeah, "My favourite songs". I hope you still know what I'm talking about. Anyway, today's November 15, 2020. It's raining outside. Do you still hate the rain? It sucks. I'm at moms house right now, but I'm alone. She's at the abuelito's place helping them out. I wonder if Abuelito's still alive, that might sound morbid but you know how it is right now, he's not doing so well. I hope he is. So what's it like being 25, Jesus that's old. It's not OLD but like it's not 20 anymore haha. Don't worry, you have so much time left. Dude what's life like right now? In 2020, you probably remember, covid! It ******* sucks. The worlds still closed and it's only getting worse. Second wave problems amirtieeee! I hope covid is over by then and life is back to normal. If not, I'm so sorry. How're you holding up? I trust it'll be over though, positive thoughts. I don't really want to talk about covid though, it's almost been a year of it. That's enough bad memories already lol. What's up with you though? Are you living in New York like you always wanted to? I hope so. Dude lol this is making me cry right now. I really hope you're in New York or another city you wanted to go live in. If not, maybe your plans changed? Life happens fast, who knows what you have experienced these past 5 years. I hope you're okay. If life got harder, I'm sorry. I know right now I'm going through a really ****** time with depression. Are you still taking anti-depressants? If you are thats okay, but I hope not. I hope this part of life is over for you. You've been sad for a really long time and I hope by 25 it has went away. Well right now you're 20 years old. You're in university, online lol. It sucks ***. Online school is hard, I hope you finish this year strong. Dude did you finish university? I hope so. It's been a hard 3 years so far, you're almost done!! What else, hmmm, do you have a job LOL? You're jobless right now, but thats okay. We're going to find a job soon I promise. Let me tell you about the fam, see if stuffs changed. Colette has a full time job right now at a homeless shelter. Is she still working in that field? Oh my gosh, she'd be like 28 thats so crazy. I hope she had kids now, she's always wanted to be a young mom. How's papa? I hope he's doing well. Did he end up moving back to Ecuador? That would be so crazy. I hope so, and he has an apartment by the beach. I hope his health is okay too, papa's great. How's mom? Does she still live in the big house? 22 Rita drive haha. I hope she has her finances together by now. Is she still single? Probably, mom hates men lmao. I hope she's good regardless. Don't forget to call her okay. If you moved away, please call them and facetime them. Don't forget about them. I know how you are, which is why I'm reminding you. Call them okay. Dude go listen to "We Are The People" by Empire of the Sun. You're listening to that song right now, it's so good. It's always made you feel ways lol. What else is new with you? How's art going? I hope your succeeding. I know you will be, you're so talented right now. I'm sure you've gotten so much better. DUde you're crying so much right now idek why. This is making me emotional. I just wanna succeed so bad and I hope that all my dreams have come true. Well the one's that could have been done in 5 years. What else girl! Can you drive yet??? I hope so dude. Do you have anymore tattoos? Your most recent one was the 2000 one haha. Did you end up going back to school after undergrad? I know right now I'm thinking of going to NYU afterwards, did it happen? If it didn't thats okay, honestly it's not the goal right now its just an idea. I hope you're more famous with art now, you're so talented Kathleen. You just need to overcome this depression and you can do so many things. I really want you to do good in this life, even though right now it feels like you're going no where. Right now you're working on the Zhumir painting, do you remember this one?? It's looking really good. Do you have a dog yet? I hope the **** so. If there's one thing I want in this letter to be accomplished, it's that you get a dog. Hey do you have a man yet? Haha, if not thats okay. I hope you didn't have to go through another ****** relationship again. Are you over Junaid yet?? LMAO you probably haven't heard that name in years. Is he still apart of your life? Dang you like him so much, we're getting over it though. It's been a year since he slid into your dms lmao, I wonder if he'll still be in my life. Dude but if there's a new man. I hope hes treating you so amazing. Kathleen don't settle okay. You've been single for 3 years now because you haven't settled, I hope you didn't give up on finding the one. If you're being treated badly right now, leave beautiful. You can do so much better okay. If you're ******* happy dude thats so good to hear. I hope you're the happiest you've ever been and I hope that feeling never goes away okay. You've gone through so much man, so ******* much. You will be happy, you better be happy girl. How're all your friends by the way! Are you still friends with Anna Maria and Sabrina? Did you guys go on the road trip all over Canada?? Did Sabrina marry Andrew?? She probably has kids by now. Is Anna Maria still with Jacob? Does she still love cars? It would be so cool if that happened. I hope they're doing so well, even if ya'll aren't friends anymore. How's Victoria? Is she still with A***? Did she figure out her career yet? I hope she got her **** together. Are we still smoking weed all the time LOL. Girl do you still smoke weed? I hope you don't do it as much. I know you only use it so much because your sad, I hope that's changed. Are you still friends with Hernani? Has he found a man yet omg. I hope so. Do you still talk to your friends from high school? Kate, Raymond, Dany, Kurt and Sean? How're they? Did Kate marry Alex? Did Kurt's brand pop off? How about the rest of them? If you guys drifted thats okay, maybe check up on them? Hopefully you guys still talk. Anyway, this letter is getting ******* long. I just don't want to leave anything out. Here's some final advice from your 20 year old self. Kathleen, you are so beautiful. You are strong, independent, funny, sarcastic, creative and such a hard worker. Don't lose the motivation for your goals, I promise you it's never too late. You have a lifetime to go, keep accomplishing everything you want. I hope you've gone to Europe already. Don't give up please. I know right now **** sucks so bad and your mental health is horrible, but you got this okay. Even if you're just reading this letter, that proves you've made it far. I'm sure you've accomplished great things. You have so many goals now, you need to make them come true. Don't give up on yourself, no matter how hard life gets.Make sure everything you do in life is for yourself. Be selfish, but also help others out. Be smart when making decisions, do your research if you don't know an answer and ask for help ***** if you need it. Nothings wrong with needing some help. Open your mind to new ideas. You've always been so caring of others, I hope you're still like that. You will succeed and you are going to be so proud of yourself. I'm already so proud of you. People around you are proud of you, you're doing so well and you can do so much better. You have so much potential. I know you've already done and will continue doing great things. Do what you want to do okay, and just do it. Don't be afraid to make mistakes it's not so bad. You're growing up and becoming a phenomenal woman. I promise you that all this pain you're feeling right now, all this sadness, it's going to go away. You have to let it leave your system, even if it comes back sometimes, you can't let it stop you. You didn't come this far to only get this far. I hope you're living the life you've always wanted to. You deserve only good things to happen to you. Go listen to What Once Was by Her's. Thats your favourite song, I hope you have it tattoo'd on yourself. I hope you have a great day and the rest of your life is amazing and everything you've ever wanted. You're probably crying so much reading this man. Stop crying okay. Look around you and be proud of yourself. Everything you have is an outcome of your success. If by any chance life went the wrong way, change it. You have so much time and you're so young. Don't be an idiot. You can do anything you want, you just need to try. I love you so much Kat. Do people still call you that? You're going to do amazing things girl. I ******* love you so much man. You got this. Keep going, whatever's hard will get better. Make it better. Now go have a cup of green tea and lemon. Put on an amazing outfit and go shopping. You love to do that **** man. I love you Kathleen, so much. Don't lose yourself, remember who you are. You've experienced so much **** to let your life stay ******. I love you, take care of yourself. Is your art ig still @katsfcknart ? That would be so sick. You're cool dude. Believe in yourself. xoxo Kathleen Mariah Gonzalez (11:31 am)