A letter from November 15th, 2020

Dear 30 Years old Me, It is Sun, November, 15, 2020 and 5:13 AM. I'm in bed trying to sleep. It's been more than three moths that I've moved from Tehran to my parents house. I had Covid-19 amd now I feel better. I'm not myself these days I am really sad and depressed, I feel alone and I suffer from overthinking. I graduated few weeks ago and now I am trying to get my degree somehow, they make situation very complicated for me. I nded it to be able to apply for a study visa of France. I'm writing to mhself 30th! I'm very close to getting old and this feeling isn't very pleased. Specially now that I have no job and no income. I wish with all my heart that I will have made lots of progress when I will been reading this letter. I wish I could get a visa to move to France to take a French language course there and then study in a master course. If everything goes well I will be in France in first quarter of 2021. There I have some Friends like Françoise, Bernard, Beatriçe, Pierre I like them and they help and encourage me to speak French. I could speak a bit now but I'm very beginner. I've made a schedule for studying IELTS, FRENCH and GRE. But I haven't studied anyghing till now. Depression make me stupid and when I see the current life I really afraid what will happen if I couldn't exit the country? Today each USD equals 270000 IRR. Sometime I think maybe I wasn't a clever guy all my life, somtime I criticise in my thoughts my family but I believe I don't have the right to do that first because they might had not taught how to bahave good in their family and second because it seems they have done their best for us. I love them but I can't get on with them. The only right way is to get independent and far from them. I hope I could help them to have a better life. I've never thought life could be much hard, but I'm not going to give up. Lots of people have got successful to reach the same goals that I am trying to reach so I have to do my best. I never will come back to this country. I want to live free and if one day I'll have a family I want they have a good amd ideal life. 30 YEARS OLD ME, I PROMISE YOU I DO MY BEST TO MAKE YOU PROUD OF YOUR 25 YEARS OLD VERSION :)