A letter from November 13th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Hello Sage/Gene, I'm currently 14, bi, and possibly non-binary but am out as transgender. I came out to my mom in the begginning of Octobter probably the 5th when shopping. We are currently in a pandemic and have to wear masks outside when around people. I am in a relationship with a really great person named Kit and going pretty well. We got together on November 9th, 2020 at 8:52pm. I am paranoid that I am wrong and that I've never liked Kit. I have that problem because of my relationship back in grade 7 with a girl named Catherine. It was really toxic and bad for my mental health. I think I joined the discord server on June 28th, 2020 and have been really happy that I met these amazing people. Here where it starts to get worse... The month october was probably the worse month I've ever endourded in my life. First my friend started ranting to me about them- TW: ED, SH. -not eating in 2 weeks and that they have been in a deppression hole for along time and can't get out. I gave really useful information but they don't seem to listen to me or anyone. Then they continued to talk about how he throws up everything he eats. End of the convo I made a deal that he would eat something small everyday. Second Kit went to the hospital and figured out that they have a heart condition with salt or whatever, and that it isn't curable. I cryed so much that my mom came out to me to comfort me. (at the time I was sleeping in the livingroom. Probably was their from September-end of October.) Then on the 18th Ace, the guy from the first story told everyone that he was gonna- TW: *****, SUICIDE. -**** themselves that night. I don't know how but me and my friend were worried about him. I finally told my mom eveything about the drama in my friend group and she recomended to call the cops. It says on some website that if someone is talking about offing themselves then you should take it serious and call the cops. So that's what we did. He stayed in the hospital for about a week and a half. He is all good now but I feel like he's not good for my mental health, and I need to stop being friends with him. He has faked DID and use mental illnesses to get away from doing things like meeting new people. So future me please say that you are not friends with this person. Then I think it started in October that my friend Alex started dating someone named James and apparently he is really toxic and doesn't like Lucy or anyone. A few days ago I went to my friends house Catherine and talked to Lucy about how she wanted to die because of Alex. Also acording to Catherine he carved his name(Alex) into his leg. Everyone is leaving him because he is becoming toxic to everyone around him, Brooklynn, Catherine, Lucy, and maybe me. I try to still keep in touch with him because I still care about him, he is a person and needs someone to talk too. I mean he has yelled at me but like- shush. That was mostly October and some of November. I would like to ask future me some questions. #1 Did covid end? #2 Are you still dating Kit? If so how are you guys? #3 Are you still friends with them and the server? #4 How is your relationship with your Dad? #5 Are you still friends with Ace? #6 Are you still friends with Catherine? #7 Are you still friends with Alex? #8 Are you happy? #9 How is Peter? #10 How is grade 10? Did you do online? #11 Did you move? #12 Do you have new friends? #13 Is your room clean? #14 Did you meet some people in the server? #15 How is Mom doing? #16 How is Grandma doing? #17 How is Emmet? #18 Did you come out to Dad and the rest of the family yet? #19 Are you still cosplaying? And who is your biggest kin right now? #20 Did you get your braces of? If not, did you get that turny thingy off the top of your mouth? #21 Have you gotten tested if you have deppression? #22 Do you still watch mcyt? #23 How is Dream, Sapnap, Georgenotfound, Tommyinnit, Tubbo, Schlatt, Wilbur Soot, Niachu, KarlJacobs, Fundy, Quakity, Aphmau, Scottsmajor, Smallishbeans, LDShadowLady, DanTDM doing? Are they still uploading? Are they still playing minecraft? Are some of them dead-? #24 Did you become a streamer/youtuber? If so did you get big? #25 Have you lost weight? I think I am over 200 pounds. #26 Have you gotten your drivers license? #27 Have you gotten a job, if so what job? #28 How has life been? I know it's hard but you can do it! #29 Have you figured out what you want to do for life? #30 Do you still play Minecraft? #31 Do you still like monster Energy? If so what is your favorite one? I currently like Ultra Rosa but am trying Pipline Punch! #32 Do you still like Anime? #33 Do you want children? #34 Do you have a better style? My current style is sweatpants and hoodie. #35 How many cosplays do you own? #36 Have you finished Bakugou's Gauntlets yet...? #37 Have you gotten a bigger bed? #38 Did you move your room around? #39 How is life? #40 Are you still in this deppressive mood all the time? #41 Are you any better at math? #42 Did you go to another convention? #43 Did you grown taller? I am currently 5"6 #44 Do you still leave bowls and plates in your room? If so take them out. now. #45 Do you still have sepration anxiety? #46 Have you gotten over speaking to people in public? #47 Have you changed your name? Have you changed your pronouns? Anything change? My name is Sage/Gene and I go by any pronouns and I am bi! #48 Are you aloud to go alone places? #49 Do you still have somewhat of an eating disorder? last... one.. #50 How are you doing? It's ok not to be, just let it out if you need too.... You are the most brave person I know! You have lived to read this message from you from the past. That's what matters! You can make it to next year and the years after that! I believe in you. I will always. I love you. <3 Have a wonderful day/night! Just know that younger you will be so proud :) Thank you, Love past you.. I love you and forever will. Dont give up.