A letter from November 10th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, It's me from the past, from 2020, the year, do you remember how things were here this time? How long did we live with the covid? Please tell me it's almost ending!!! Hey, i'm listening to Lany's album Mama's Boy right now, did you remember how much you could cry listening to them? Right now you are 25y, wow, i'm 19 and so afraid to get in the 20s next year. It's been 2 years since I graduated at high school, and for you, if things worked like i'm planning to, its been 2 years since you graduated at college in business administration, is it right? did you like? I just dropped out from architecture in july, it was the worst moment for me. I felt so lost and alone, nobody understand me or why i did it, but we know. I really hope that bussiness it is the right choice. Do you have a job that you like? Is it good? I really wish you like it now. Are you happy right now? I am not, I just have some nice moments now and then. Usually nothing makes sense, I don't know what to do or where to go. Don't know why i'm here. I honestly don't like life right now, wish it gets better, i hope i can find happiness at some point. I am just 19 and so scared, I am not sure about anything, I dont have anything and I can't not even be honest with myself. Is life just this? Is it all? Always hoppeless and empty with some nice moments? I'm terrified thats all, and afraid that even in 5 years you are gonna say it is. The days are just passing through my eyes, people are living out there, being happy, but I can't move. Do you know who you are now? Or what you want? Are you happy? I have so much that I would like to know. At this moment I would like someone to come and tell me the answers or at least what I have to do, or where to go. I'm afraid to choose the wrong way again. Do you still talk to your best friends? We've known each other for like 7-15 years, if you don't go, just go after this and call them, now, please! They are one of the most important part of my like right now. Are they all okay? Wait, do you have new friends? Like, the real ones, like them? Because, I feel like this is not going to happen, not anymore! Don't cry right now, because i'm already doing it, but is our dog still with us? I'm gonna try to enjoy her the most I can, I don't want to lose her, ever, she's my best friend, I love her with all my heart. She's 6 now. Do you have another pet? How are everyone in our family? Mom and dad are ok? Not gonna lie, it's been a hard time now, I just realized about the way they affected my life, its not easy! Is it sister ok? Do still want to have a job in that company? Or do u still want to create something? GO TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, IT'S NOT LATE AT ALL. Now, do you have a boyfriend? Did you find someone like you've read in the books or cute movies? I hope that he makes u feel loved, like you've never felt before. Remember: you deserve the best person, you are special. I hope he makes you want to enjoy everyday, gives u butterflies in your stomach, feel like home and makes u feel like u can do anything you want, and the most important, that he lets you be free, because you are! Did you go to concerts? Do you still have 5 Seconds Of Summer as your favorite band? Wait, are they still together? Did you ever meet them? What about Harry Styles? Did One Direction got back? What do you like to listen now? Whats your fav movie? Is friends still your favorite tv show? Do you still like to read books? Do you have a clean skin now? Do you like your body? Good health? Don't forget to take care of yourself! I'm not doing it now. Give me a break, we are in the middle of a pandemy, and i'm like all day at home, doing not much. Now do you have more opportunities to travel? I have so many places i would like to visit. I mean, you are just 25, you have a long time to travel yet. Did you and your friends go to the beach? Did you go abroad for exchange? Do you still want to visit Hawaii and NY? Live in Italy one day? Did you move to Sao Paulo? Do you still live with fam? You are still young, you can plan these things! Are you fluent in english? Just got C1 level last week in the test, is there too much mistakes in this letter? Did u learn Italian? How is your relationship with God? I'm kind of far from Him, these times, want to go back but i'm ashamed and scared. I know He's gonna love me, He still do it. I'm just trying to hide my feelings in a secret place, from myself, maybe in this way i'm not gonna feel too much. It's not gonna hurt. Do you still care that much about everything? I'm scared that life got worst, and now you are sad reading this, feeling bad about me, who is wanting to have good news. But it's okay. I know you always try your best. You are gonna be fine. You are young. (Wait, do you have any tattoos???) Don't worry, you still have time. Maybe you can start from now. I have so much that I would like to know about u. Hoping, with my whole heart you are fine and happy, enjoying life. Hey, dont forget to write one of these to Dani in like 5/6 years, I can even imagine who she is! Probably very different from us, from me! Yesterday I wrote to us in 2021, do you remember? I started writing this like 4 hours ago, in my bedroom, on my bed, after that I had dinner, went to the living room with mom and sister (dad is working), watched live videos on twitch, youtube and used my phone, i know, i spend too much time doing this, i'm sorry. Now i'm listening to Lover Of Mine by 5sos. Bye. I love you! Take care! With love, Dani :) 11:26 pm (waiting for dad to come home in like 10 minutes, with the dog <3)