A letter from November 10th, 2020

to my future self, i’m currently 17 and not quite sure where my life will lead. the stress of exams, university and getting good grades is weighing down on me. but i hope when you’re reading this 5 years from now we’ll be in a better place. how was uni? did we get into the one we wanted? was it as good as we hoped? right now i’m dreaming of the future: moving out, getting a lovely little apartment, and a sage green kitchen. my mock a levels are in a few weeks and i’m dreading it, do you still cry thinking about deadlines? i don’t know if you remember but we were in a rough spot recently, i really do hope everything is going well for you. i’m scared that life won’t turn out how i pictured and that i’ll look back and feel regretful. i dont want to let life pass me by, but sometimes its so hard just to get out of bed. my councillor said a couple months i should keep a diary of how im feeling but i already gave up with it, i’m worried i’ll never get better. i’m trying to write some ideas for a novel, do we ever publish one? whats life like as a 22 year old, i hope you are a better person than me, and that you become how we had imagined, our future self. best wishes, from, you