A letter from November 8th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, hiii me, are you still using the same email adress for what you are currently doing? like is it still 'ichafernandy@gmail.com' cuz i know u hate that there is icha in it.. i want to ask you some stuff, let me dumbass 1. are you still with adrian? if not then who are you with? 2. where are you now? 3. are you doing okay mentally? 4. what major did you take? 5. what university do/did you study in? 6. how is fernann.bakes? 7. how are your fam? 8. are you still having anxiety attacks? 9. did you go to psikolog? or are you still diagnosing yourself? 10. what happen to does milia near your eyes? 11. have you eaten more? 12. are you still keeping in touch with rena, nadya, valma, keisha, zahra, adel? 13. if not then contact them!!! 14. how is your instagram feeds? 15. are you happy? 16. have you stop wishing u are better off dead? 17. how does it feel like to be 20? 18. can you drive now??? 19. is dad allowing you to go anywhere you like with any person? 20. has mom allowed you to ride the motorcycle? 21. did you get a vespa?? 22. do you have any pets? 23. are you still using the same old macbook or did you get a new one? 24. reunite with your smp friends plssss cause they helped you go through a lot 25. did you tobat yet😬 26. are you still listening to billie eilish songs? 27. are you into skin care now? 28. are you into make up?? 29. how is nenek padang, nenek medan, and atok medan? 30. did you go outside of indo yett cause i'm so bored here 31. can you control your emotions better now? 32. what movie is booming rn? 33. how is your fashion sense? 34. have you played golf with dad in the past months? 35. is mom still forcing you to learn how to cook? 36. khayla is in grade 9th right? what kind of person did she become? 37. oh and ur brother is emm how is he? 38. is he nice now? 39. what does he do for a living? 40. and what does dad do for a living? 41. are you still socially awkward? 42. do you have friendss? who are them? 43. have you learned how to sholat yet? 44. are you praying 5 times a day? 45. who is the president of indo now? and the president of the usa? 46. can you still speak french? 47. what shoes are you currently using? ur 15 year old is currently using the converse x cdg play 48. are you still editing vids? 49. what is the trend rn? 50. did you get into osis smansa?? that's all from me. if you want to know how i'm doing now, well.. i am currently stressed out about everything, i can't do anything right. i am doing my best to get into osis and gave up on basketball. i submitted an essay for a competition to visit harvard and mit last night, it was about how i struggle with communication. my grades now are the worst, i can't study online cause i lose my focus easily. i can't seem to eat properly, i just don't feel like eating. the past 2 days i was having anxiety attacks, and it got very messy in my room. i couldn't go to an event because my parents won't let me and i don't get it cause like what is so wrong about it??!?! smansa is great and all but i miss the non-negeri vibes. i miss traveling too:(( it's been a while. i'm trying my best to make our parents proud but idk. mom said that i was going crazy and don't have a brain when i was in my lowest point yesterday. i don't think they will evey understand the stress i an handling rn. well, i hope you are doing okay, i hope everything eventually make sense and that you are happy now. i really hope you start eating the things you like. i know you are a picky eater so yeah. thank you for staying alive for me!! you did your best! keep on smiling even if it's fake. byeeee love u