A letter from November 5th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, Today is the day after November 4th (the day after the election) but because of corona virus and mail in ballots, a winner hasn't been decided yet. I can't vote yet and that is absolutely ******* me because the people that can vote (like my mom) don't know **** about politics or care at all... I was texting em earlier and we talked about how if trump loses that it will not negatively affect them. "but the taxes!!!" they'll say. However, if trump WINS, I could potentially be denied healthcare, my right to get married, adopt, and get an abortion if I were to ever experience rape. THIS SUCKS. I've been in a decent mood today because I have been busy with school but yesterday I was so so sick and my depression was at a low. I didn't eat. I couldn't get out of bed. I drove to the dollar general and sat in the parking lot and cried. Every 5 minutes I was googling "Live Election Update" This should not be what 17 year old me is worried about. With how the polls are looking right now, I'm pretty sure Biden has it. Let's just hope that happens. I've never felt more rage and chaos in my life. I never realized people could be so stupid and heartless until today. I hope 5 years from now is very different. I hope that I am no longer suffering from an ED and depression. I hope that I have an apartment with geneivive and we are both happy. Hell, I hope i'm with geneivive, but if I'm not, I hope whatever happens is the universe's plan. I've been manifesting hard recently, mostly for this election, but I did manifest my first job. So that's good. My first day is tomorrow. I'm actually excited for it because i just dug into my mason jars of change because I ran out of money JJSLFJJFOSIAOA, that's embarassing oof. Anyways, xoxo. Bye