A letter from October 26th, 2020

Dear FutureMe, I love you and I always will. You were there for me when I truly needed you the most. And thank you for that. You pulled me out from a dark place and continued to put a smile on my face everyday for 6 months. I don’t hate you or have anything against you. But sometimes I just wished you fought for us. Yea, I know, I was 14 and you were 12. But we were one heck of a couple. We were mature, the way we made each other feel, the way we dated, the way we did things. We moved too fast and wanted to grow up too fast. We acted and dated like we were 20 year olds. But I don’t regret a single moment of it with you. But sometimes and I still wish that, that day would come where God says we’re ready for each other again and everything will go smoothly. Where we can hang out at each other’s houses without having to hide it from our parents, siblings, and friends. I wish that, that day would still come where I can play basketball on your driveway with you and go back inside and cuddle till I fall asleep in your arms on your couch. If only. I have finally and I mean finally accepted and learned that everything happens for a reason. God brought you into my life as a lesson and a blessing. And my biggest heartbreak. You were my first love and I was yours. As much as I wanted it to last forever, it didn’t and I’m fine with that. I’m glad I got to experience this with you and at this young of an age. Thank you for everything you made me feel and did for me, good and bad. I found peace in you when I couldn’t find it in myself. I love you more than anything in this world and you and I both know I would’ve done anything for you. But things don’t always end up the way we want them to. I love you and I always will. We have one heck of a love story. Maybe if it’s gods plan, he’ll bring us back together for a 2nd chance. If. I’m finally closing this chapter on you, on us, for good. All I have are memories of us. Thank you for the warmth and security you made me feel, whenever I heard your voice and whenever I was with you. Thank you for all the reckless nights we were out together. And the constant butterflies you gave me everyday. Thank you for this experience. Thank you for making me realize my self worth and how much I needed to love myself before I love anyone else. I’ll always remember those nights we stayed up till 4 in the morning on FaceTime. And especially those night where we would fall asleep on FaceTime together. I’ll always remember that feeling you made me feel when those morning your voice woke me up to a “Good morning baby.” And those “I love you” s to each other. I’ll always remember that senza of joy when you woke me up and called me first thing in the morning to do our e-learning together. Sooner or later you’ll realize I was the one who was meant for you, but you were too young and immature to realize that. I don’t regret anything that happened between us. I’m so grateful I got to call you mine. I love you always and forever my ricotoni, panini, poopyhead, poopyface, baby, babe, and mine.